Ass Junior
by No One Reads Bad Fanfics
Summary: If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you'd see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phone book, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father of the UES on Google, I'm sure you'll see everything I've done. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass.
1. One

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phonebook, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

* * *

**One:**

_January 2008_

Her parting farewell was bittersweet and it was the only sound he could hear. It kept replaying in his head and he was sure it would never stop. He couldn't believe he was so damn stupid. He let her back into his life, even when all signs told him not to, and it came back to bite him in his ass as hard as Katrina hit New Orleans. He didn't know what he would do without her now. She was his foundation. He had actually loved someone and what had it amounted to? A cold bathroom of the twenty-fourth floor of the Palace.

"Your bed would be more comfortable you know," came a voice he knew all too well but did not want to deal with. It was his, dare I say it, sister.

"Get out and I promise never to speak with you again,"

It was an empty threat, or promise. They were related. They had to speak to each other eventually.

"Now, you know you love talking to me, I'm almost as entertaining as Victrola when I'm drunk,"

"Are you drunk now?"

"No,"

"Then leave,"

His voice was laced with pain and fatigue and it was sad to see him that way. He had always been so tough, untouchable, frozen; yet there he was kneeling on the bathroom floor beside a dirty toilet. He groaned and emptied the contents of his stomach once more. He couldn't remember the last time he had drunk that much. Alcohol never had that effect on him. He'd drink all night and still be sober enough to kick out the sluts in the morning. In the back of his mind, he knew that it wasn't the drink having the effect. It was _her_, the self-centered, self-conscience, bitch that controlled him in a way he hadn't even thought possible.

"Chuck," Serena's tone was soft and soothing. For some reason, it kind of put him at ease. It seemed that maybe she could be useful for something, even if it was only settling his stomach. "You've got to leave the bathroom."

His gaze rose from the white piece of metal, or was it steel, and hooked onto hers. He never thought he'd see so much concern in a person's eyes besides his mother's. No one ever cared about him. He was an egotistical womanizer. Who would ever love someone like him?

"She hates me,"

It was his biggest fear. It was his _only_ fear. He fell for someone and they didn't catch him. They watched him and once he hit the ground they laughed, talk about adding insult to injury.

"She doesn't hate you, nobody hates you. We may hate everything you do and say but we don't hate you."

"Surprisingly, those words are not comforting,"

He saw guilt cross his companion's face and couldn't help but smirk. He could make her feel guilt, concern, and anger in less than twenty minutes. Maybe he wasn't completely lost.

"What is the matter with you?"

"She chose him,"

"She always chooses him, Chuck. And she will continue to choose him until you man up and make her choose you. Show her what he can never give her. Be who you are and reveal to her who he is,"

"Who is he? Who is he, Serena? Who the hell is he!? I've been friends with Nathaniel for years and I feel like I don't even know him anymore,"

"Then get to know him,"

"He won't talk to me,"

"God! You are Chuck Bass, damnit! Make him talk to you. You don't apologize, you don't cry, and you certainly don't let Blair Waldorf turn you into some sick little puppy. If you want to be a wimp, go do it somewhere else because as long as you're here, you're going to be the bastard I know and loathe."

"Aww, you really loathe me?"

"With every fiber in my being,"

He smiled.

"Fine, I'm getting up, but you better have a barf bag, if your mother is in the suite, I will surely need it,"

She laughed and he momentarily went back to the last time a woman laughed like that around him. It surely had been a long time.

"I missed you, Bass," Serena was sincere and he knew it, but he couldn't resist mocking her once more.

"Don't they all,"

* * *

_June 2009_

They say your high school graduation should be the third best day of your life, beaten only by your wedding day and the birth of your child. Chuck Bass didn't know who they were, but he was sure they were in a mental institution. It was June and that meant only one thing for the seniors of St. Jude's and Constance, graduation. It meant they were finally spreading their wings, lifting off and going away from the humongous shadows of their fellow peers and their parents. It meant they were on their own. To some, it was welcomed; to others, it was dreaded. You may guess which category he fell under.

"Now, it is important that you show everyone exactly who you are out there. You are no longer the children you were when you first walked through those doors so many years ago. You are now men and women of a higher order. You are high school graduates, or at least, you will be in a few hours. Any questions?"

"Yeah, is there an open bar here? I'm gonna need some Vodka to make this day and that speech seem less shitty,"

All eyes were on him and that was the way he preferred it. He shrugged lightly and draped his arm over dear Serena's shoulders. They had somehow grown a bond in the year and a half they had been stepsiblings and although the very idea of being related to her had once repulsed him beyond belief, he was glad to have her. Especially at moments like those when she did something utterly embarrassing to make what he had done seem a little bit more reasonable.

"Blair is going to law school!" yelled the blonde and suddenly, the pressure was gone. Well, the pressure of their eyes was gone, but there was a new pressure building up inside of Chuck just hearing Blair's name. It had taken forever to revive Blair's reputation, and after all was said and done, the princess did what was completely expected of her. She found herself a brand new pushover who she could control and manipulate until she rolled over and died. Her and the new guy began dating practically the second she was back in power and they had survived until graduation, in fact, they survived for two years after, but that's not the point.

Graduation flew by in a haze of lousy speeches, fake smiles, and even faker friends. In high school, Chuck learned that the only people he could count on were himself and his family. Well, himself, his real mother, Lily, Eric, and Serena. He took his diploma, and the second he could he took off. He had spent five hours with the only thing to watch being his girl and her boyfriend. He couldn't wait to get away from them and he did the same thing he did so many months before with one minor change.

A door flew open and a bundle of arms and legs came through. Straight through the door and towards the bed with such effort that it's almost a shame the two didn't make it. A grunt escaped his lips as his back hit the ground hard. His next groan was drowned out as she captured his lips with her own once more. Maybe he shouldn't have let her drink anything. Her tongue was in his mouth soon after and, before he could even realize, he was moaning in pleasure. He hadn't felt like that in quite a while and it was surely about time. It occurred to him somewhere in between that grunt and that moan that she seemed to be in charge. Chuck Bass was always in charge. In a matter of seconds, she was on her back and he took a second to look at her. Through the alcohol, the adrenaline, and the testosterone he was able to make out two things, blonde hair and brown eyes.

* * *

_April 2017_

Knock after knock broke through the crisp morning air. What the hell was happening? He did not know nor did he have time to ponder it because the knocking would not stop. It was like someone was pounding on the inside of his skull and since he had been sober for little over two days now it was very odd. He stormed from his bed, into the hall, down the steps, through the kitchen, and yanked open the door, all the while the little vibrations ceased to well cease. With the door open Chuck expected to see some persistent mailman or maybe 'Lonely Boy' coming back to haunt him, but what he did not expect was what he found.

"Down here," called a small voice causing Chuck to look down. Upon looking, he found a young boy; his guess would be the age of six or seven. The boy had short, scruffy looking black hair and was looking up at him with chestnut brown eyes. His nose was, as much as Chuck hated to admit, cute and buttony. But the unmistakable adorableness of the boy did not change the fact that he had woken Chuck up at an unreasonably early hour on a Thursday.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Chuck asked

"I'm Aaron," said the boy simply and Chuck couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes.

"Well, of course you are! That certainly tells me loads about you," the sarcastic man droned on, "Why ever would I expect to hear more? I don't know, it's six AM on a Thursday morning in April, my only question is, why the hell are you here, on my doorstep, waking me up?"

"My mommy dropped me off,"

"Why did she do that?" asked Chuck through gritted teeth, children were not his forte especially children he didn't know who knocked on doors for five minutes straight.

"She say I can't wander the streets," replied Aaron

"But that still doesn't explain why you are here! Why aren't you with your mother, boy?"

"Because she dropped me off, don't you listen?" It seemed Chuck wasn't the only one getting frustrated.

"I heard you the first time you said that, but why did she drop you off here?"

"That's simple, why didn't you ask that?" Chuck's brow started twitching, and he couldn't help but to feel like strangling the boy. "My mommy said that I should see my daddy,"

The twitching stopped as quickly as it began and his eyes narrowed into slits. Daddy? Didn't that mean father? He was the only guy that lived here and he sure as hell didn't have any kids. He hated kids. Having one would be hypocritical.

"Well, I'm the only guy who lives here and I sure as hell am not your father. I have never once had a child and I don't plan on having any in the near future. Now if you'd please-"

"Chuck! How dare you try to send this poor boy out onto the streets! He is clearly lost and that is no way to treat a child," roared Serena pushing her brother out of the way and ushering Aaron into the household. Chuck watched through his forever tight eyes as the boy looked around with big, round eyes. The child was also clearly used to small places.

"I'm not a child, I'm a big boy," Aaron said turning to Serena

"Of course you are," cooed the blonde as she ruffled his hair affectionately. Aaron quickly jumped back as if her touch was toxic. Chuck chuckled, at least the kid had taste.

"Okay, kid, who the heck are you?" Chuck asked trying once more to figure out something worth knowing about the brat,

"I'm Aaron and I'm seven. My mommy dropped me off because she said this is where I should be right now," Aaron said with a little hint of anger in his voice. The kid, who should probably be known as Aaron, had an obvious temperament that sort of resembled a certain someone's own anger issues.

"Well, where does your mom live?" Serena asked jumping in between the two boys to stop what would surely be one of the most entertaining fights in the history of the UES.

"I dunno know,"

"You don't know where you live? Surely you'd know it if you saw it," insisted Serena but Aaron just shook his head, "do you remember the car?"

"We took a cab," Aaron said

"Damn the Upper East Side and their lack of automobiles," cursed Chuck quietly but not quietly enough

"Chuck, no cursing in front of the c-h-i-l-d," scolded Serena

"I can spell you know," Aaron said

"Right, of course you can, what's your mom's name, Aaron?"

"Um… Kalvin,"

"Kalvin? What female is named Kalvin?"

"Chuck, shut up. Does she have a last name?"

"Business,"

"Business? That is not a last name,"

"Chuck!"

"She say her name is Nunya Business, but her jacket say Kalvin,"

"What's your last name then?"

"Bass," replied Aaron nonchalantly

"Bass? Chuck is there something you'd like to tell me?" Serena asked turning on her brother who looked as surprised as she did.

"Not specifically," mumbled Chuck

"You have a son,"

"No, Serena, I do not. There is, however, a seven year old who claims to share my DNA,"

It was a horrible response and it got both Aaron and Serena to shake their heads at him. Serena looked a bit more pissed than anything but Aaron looked a bit confused.

"What's DNA?" he asked

"It's something you'll hear about many years from now, why don't you just go into the first room on your left, that's the kitchen, just get the old lady to fix you something to eat," Serena said shooing Aaron out of the room. Aaron walked out and once the door closed she rounded on Chuck with a look he had never seen on her face. She had the oddest smile and she looked mischievous and he knew for a fact that when she looked mischievous she was usually up to no good.

"I swear to you that kid is not mine. He's way too young to be my kid anyway, I've been a much better person since college," Chuck said

"I know, but he's seven. Chuck, remember graduation,"

Serena was smiling crazily now and Chuck knew what she was referring to but it could not be possible. It was one night and he was safe, wasn't he?

"It's not happening, Serena, this is just some cruel prank, I don't have a son," Chuck said

"Well, we better be sure. I'll get you the best lawyer money can buy," Serena said

"Best lawyer money can buy or best lawyer you can afford?"

"What's the diff?"

"The best you can afford ends up with me having some crack pot, skinny ass, junior princess, bitch who doesn't know the difference between a law suit and a suit of armor,"

"I resent that, you act like I can't do anything right,"

"Serena, you burnt down your apartment trying to make ice,"

"No, I was putting the water in the freezer and my robe caught on a candle,"

"And that sucker burned, baby, burned,"

"Well, whether that is true or not, I will be calling you a lawyer. You're going to need someone who is dedicated, hard working, intelligent, and probably not too bad on the eyes…. I know just the girl, or woman,"

Serena's eyes lit up and she risked a glance towards the phone. He saw her look and knew exactly what she was doing. Sadly, before he could stop her, she had the phone.

"Serena, call her and I swear-"

"Hey Kathy, may I please speak with Blair, it's urgent,"

And just like that, everything Chuck had worked so hard for was gone. His head hung low as he started walking back up the stairs.

"Oh, and Chuck," he turned at the sound of his name to see Serena holding onto the phone and looking at him tenderly, "Happy birthday,"

-

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters (minus Aaron) and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl or anything associated with it. I'm simply a fan with an interest in writing.


	2. Two

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phonebook, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

* * *

**Review Replies:**

Individually, (sigh) I'd love to thank you all individually but I can't. Most of the writing for this was done on a cruise ship where internet is like five bucks a minute. I may be able to afford the cruise but I ain't swimming in money. If you want to make a donation to my Review Reply While On Location Fund you are welcome to, PM me for the details and you can send me the cash anytime. Yes, I did say cash, I don't play with checks, people. But seriously, thank you guys for checking out the first chapter and evidently, you liked it if you're back, and thanks for reviewing as well, I love criticism. Heck, think of me as the opposite of Chuck Bass. I have no kids, I don't stay in a hotel, I'm female, not in love with someone who will never love me back (or at least doesn't seem to love me back at this particular point in time), it's not my birthday, there's no random person writing all about me and my friends, and finally, I do enjoy when people talk to me. Especially about my stories. Now, that you've wasted a few minutes from your life reading this, you may read the actual chapter. To think, this was just one reply to those few people who reviewed. The chapter below is what, ten pages, that's what I wrote because I was so motivated by your lovely reviews. Imagine if every person who read reviewed, you guys would get so much more to this story. Whatever, no one reads these anyway, go ahead, read

* * *

**Two:**

_April 2017_

Good morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. The birthday buzz is back and the only thing wrapped up and in a bow this year is a little boy. My reliable sources saw a blonde mystery girl dropping off a kid outside of C's mansion home. Could there be another Bass on the Upper East Side? Better question is are we ready for him?

* * *

_April 1998- Senior Bass Residence_

Streamers and balloons covered every inch of wall space, limos and helicopters filled the streets, and you couldn't take two steps without coming across either an animal or a child. Any outsider would see it as a zoo but any Upper East Sider would know what it was, a birthday party.

Chuck Bass, age six, ran out of the house as fast as his little legs could carry him. Angry tears were in his eyes and his speed left little room for turns. He was upset. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. Out of all the horrible things for that beast of a father to do it was by far the worst in his eyes. Chuck kept going and going until he was brought to a halt in the most unceremonious way. He crashed.

"Eww, Chuck, move!"

He quickly sprung to his feet offering his help to the person he had crashed into. He was a gentleman after all. The person ignored his hand completely not even bothering to spare it another glance as she hoisted herself up.

"You dirtied my party dress, Bass," growled Blair in what she thought was an intimidating voice. Chuck rolled his eyes. Of all the hundreds of people at his party it had to be her.

"You know what, I couldn't care less about your dumb dress. There's no party anyway,"

As those words left his mouth, Blair looked exactly like a dear in headlights. She was a classy young girl and she needed parties. They were a chance to show off.

"What do you mean no party? It's your birthday, you can't not have a party," Blair said

"Well, I'm not going anymore," he said slumping down onto the grass. She looked at him torn between talking to her friend and getting her dress dirty. Eventually, he won.

"Why not?"

"'Cause I saw it,"

"Saw what?"

"My dad, he was, he was-uh, I can't even say it,"

"Why can't you?"

"It was disgusting! He was back there and he was kissing _her_,"

"Who? Your mommy?"

"No, if he was kissing her, I'd be fine. He was kissing that lady he works with. _Clarisse_." He spat out her name as if it was the most hideous thing he had ever dealt with and Blair kind of felt bad for whoever this lady was. Chuck may have been little but he could sure cause some damage.

"I'm sure it's nothing," she assured

"Yeah, nothing, that's why my mommy was packing her stuff,"

"Packing? Uh oh, that sounds like Serena's daddy,"

"Don't you think I saw that! She's going to leave and then I will never see her again,"

"Your mommy wouldn't stay away from you, Chuck,"

"Why won't she?"

"Because you're special. You're too cool of a person to ignore,"

"Right," he was sarcastic but Blair chose to ignore him

"I'm serious, I assure you that no one will ever be able to ignore you. And surely not girls, you aren't exactly ugly,"

"Did you just say I was cute?" he asked smiling slightly

"No, Chuck, I did not," she said sternly, "I said you weren't exactly ugly,"

"That's girl talk for cute," he said knowingly

"No, it's not, I'm a girl if you hadn't noticed,"

"Oh, I noticed,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing,"

"Bass, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing, just, um, how's Nate?"

"He's fine, still a little mad you gave him chicken pox,"

"I told him to stay away from me, he didn't listen,"

"Chuck, it's your birthday-"

"I know that,"

"I couldn't find you anything,"

"You wouldn't have to get me anything,"

"But I want to get you something special, it's your sixth birthday after all,"

"Oh, just like last year was my 'fifth birthday definitely,'"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, I would never mock you, Waldorf,"

"Good! Now, close your eyes," she commanded

"Close my eyes? Not a chance," he said

"But I want to give you your something special," she wined

"You said you couldn't find anything,"

"I didn't find something, but I have something for you, now close your eyes or you won't get it,"

There was something about the look in her eyes that made him trust her. He closed his eyes and waited with his hands out expecting her to drop something any second. She never did. He was getting impatient. He was just about ready to move when he felt her soft hands on his cheeks. They gripped his jaw in a firm yet gentle hold and he felt his head being pulled forward. Not even a full few seconds later, he experienced something he never expected in a million years. A kiss.

* * *

_April 2017- Master Bedroom. Bass Residence, Manhattan_

What's a birthday anyway? The anniversary of your birth? Every time you celebrate, you're celebrating another crappy year on earth and welcoming the next. That's exactly why Chuck hated birthdays especially his own. He couldn't stand them and the parties were always horrible. There was only one thing he looked forward to on his birthday and that had been ruined plenty years before.

"Oh, stop being such a sour puss, Bass. Eric is going to be here in a few minutes back from the airport, my mom should have been here three hours ago, and even your dad will be here. Birthdays are supposed to be happy," Serena said trying to get her brother to put some emotion into this day.

"If you want me to have a happy birthday, go build a time machine, go back in time, kill Nate, and come back, I assure you I will love birthdays," Chuck said

"Well, your party has a surprise this year,"

"Is it like last year when you got the Humphrey Hillbillies to come?"

"No, it's even better, besides, when better to introduce the newest addition to our family," Serena said

"He is not family," Chuck said

"Chuck, he looks just like you, and really he's just so darn cute,"

"Shouldn't you be ruining someone else's life?"

"Nope, I'm free until Thursday, so, I'm going to solve your problem in the meantime. You have this deep hatred of birthdays and I'm going to solve the riddle behind it,"

"Why ever would you want to do that?"

"Because, I am your sister, and I have to live with you since somebody who will not be named came to my apartment and decided to turn it into a private casino getting me evicted. I'm sick of you moping and even more, I have the best gift ever and if you ever want to see it you'll get your ass in that bathroom and make yourself look decent, Bass."

"You don't have to cuss, no need to teach children such language," Chuck said closing the door and turning on the boy who was seated on his bed so comfortably.

"Hi," Aaron said waving wildly

"What are you doing in here?" Chuck asked

"Serena let me in when she came in," Aaron said

"Well, I'm letting you out, I need to change, get lost," Chuck said

"But… what should I do? Serena is kind of weird," Aaron said

"Trust me, you won't have to deal with her long, now, shoo!" Chuck said, Aaron sighed and jumped off the bed walking out the room. Chuck slammed the door behind him and went to get ready.

Three hours later, Chuck looked at himself in the mirror. His black Armani suit looked almost as horrible on him as his neon green jogging outfit did but he was told to look decent so the suit won. If only he had a scarf to tie around his neck. Serena had destroyed his last one in the whole fire fiasco.

"Oh, Chuck," sang the blonde knocking on the bedroom door rather loudly. He groaned. She destroyed silence as well.

"Go away, I'm not coming out," Chuck said

"But part one of my surprise is here," Serena said

"Is it going to ruin my mood?" Chuck asked

"Your mood is already pissed, how much worse can it get?" Serena asked avoiding his question for a reason

"Fine, you may open the door, the key is in the shoe," Chuck said. He went to his bed and sat down while he heard the rustling from outside. Two minutes passed before the door was opened and Serena stood looking at him with a nervous smile.

"Part one of your surprise," Serena said stepping aside and allowing a new person to be seen. This person was probably the most welcomed but utterly wrong person to be there. She stood about five feet, eight inches and her hair was long and curly. Her soft, red lips were curved ever so slightly upwards and her big, doe-like eyes were sparkling. Her outfit fit her body well as it clung to every part of her. He was so mesmerized by her appearance that he almost didn't hear her speaking to him.

"Hello Charles," Blair said politely. She could tell where his gaze was and was growing agitated the longer he took to recover. She wasn't all too excited to be there but she knew better than to let a chance like that slip away from her. She was offered nearly a week ago a trip to Manhattan for her and two others. She wasn't quite sure what the catch was but she was assured that there was no catch only a small favor to be asked. She would have an all expense paid trip to go across the country if she made a few public appearances and got more business for the firm. She never expected that she'd be hearing from her best friend while she was in town. She thought Serena was in Hawaii again with Eric.

"Earth to Chuck," Serena called snapping her fingers in Chuck's face. Chuck shook his head and looked back up smirking at Blair.

"Well, if it isn't little Blair Waldorf," mused Chuck acting as if he wasn't just drooling over her.

"It's Archibald, you ass. You'd know that if you came to your best friend's wedding," snapped Blair

"I would have but I had some socks that just needed to be folded," he said

"You don't do your own socks," she said

"He did do the person who did," Serena said

"Shut up, Serena," said Chuck angrily

"Bro-bro, I thought I was helping," insisted the blonde

"You were helping and the mother of the kid in there is Jenny Humphrey," he said

"Kid? What kid?" asked Blair frantically. She had been told that they were giving Chuck a birthday party and she should stop by. She was told nothing about children. She was not a big fan of snot-nosed, wide-eyed, spoiled brats who wanted nothing more than to bug the living shit out of you.

"Were you not paying any attention to why you were brought to my house?" Chuck asked

"Of course I was, I was called down here for two reasons. One, Serena wanted me at the party, and two, Serena needed help helping some doofus find some chick he knocked up nearly eight years ago," Blair said defensively

"Hello, Mrs. Archibald, I'm Doofus," Chuck said sticking out his hand for effect

"Holy shit! There's an ass junior running around," Blair exclaimed

"Yup," Serena said perkily

"Chuck Bass has a kid. Well, I'll be a monkey's aunt," Blair said

"Actually, that's her," Chuck said pointing to Serena who stuck her tongue out in response.

"Oh yeah, I can totally see why you two live together," Blair said

"It's not my fault, Eric had me evicted," Serena said

"No, he didn't, S. Eric did something stupid that alerted your landlord that you and your crazy family need to get the heck out of there. It wasn't just him, may I remind you that you singed half the building?" Blair asked

"Once again, my robe caught on a candle," insisted Serena

"Of course it did. So, where's Junior?" Blair asked

"His name is actually Aaron and he should be in the guest bedroom right now unpacking," Serena said

"Unpacking? Why is he unpacking? He does not live here!" Chuck said stomping his foot down

"Chuck, you can't turn your son out into the world. He's only seven. And besides, he's only taking out his clothes and putting them in the drawers. He already took a shower and he put on the cutest little suit. It's adorable," cooed Serena

"But he's not going anywhere," Chuck said

"How adorable?" Blair asked ignoring Chuck

"Way more adorable than any boy you've ever seen. Wait until you see him," Serena said

"She won't because he'll be-"

"Oh, there he is. Aaron!"

Chuck exhaled loudly. Would Serena ever listen to him about anything? It was his house after all and yet she was letting people stay there and inviting people over whenever she felt the desire. It was really pissing him off.

The door opened and the boy walked in dressed a suit that was nearly identical to Chuck's. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a scowl because of the tie. He marched over to the bed and slumped next to it. Blair and Serena looked at the two with slack jaws. When they were that close, they really did have a strong resemblance.

"There's no point in fighting this, Chuck, you've got a son," stated Blair

"Is this what I'm paying her for?" Chuck asked pointing to Blair whilst looking at Serena, "Am I paying her to mock me, yell at me, and then take one look at the kid and say he's mine? If so, we can fire her right now and drop this kid off at the nearest orphanage,"

"No!" screamed Aaron before the others could even react, "I hate it there."

"You… hate it? What do you mean you hate it? Don't you live with your mom?" Serena asked, Aaron shook his head

"No, I don't. I been staying at the orphanage forever. I ran away yesterday and my mommy stopped me on the street. She took me back to her house and said that I was going somewhere else," admitted Aaron

"But why would you go with her, if you didn't know her? I'm assuming you had never met her before," Blair said

"We met once before. It was family day where people who used to stay there would come and see the place. She had come and she had talked to me. She gave me my backpack then and told me to make sure the back of it never ripped. She said then it would lose its magic," Aaron explained

"Where is this backpack, Aaron?" Chuck asked showing an interest for the first time since he had entered

"In the room, I go get it," he said rushing out the door.

"So, whoever this chick is she's loony," Chuck said once he was out the door

"I wouldn't say that. She just doesn't want to raise a kid. She left him and obviously she still cared for him. The most we could do at this point would be to work off the kids memory or possibly check the orphanage and see if we could find her," Blair said

"So, you're on the case?" Chuck asked

"I'm stuck here for a week, how long could it take to find some kid's mommy?" Blair asked

"Here's my backpack," Aaron said coming in and handing the _Spiderman_ backpack to Chuck. Chuck looked it over thoroughly before shrugging and ripping the back of it off. The other three gasped in horror.

"Chuck! Why would you do that?" Serena asked

"The witch said it was magic, that's adult to child for it's hiding something. Aha! Look what I found," Chuck said dropping the backpack to the ground and holding up a birth certificate. Blair looked impressed but Serena still looked skeptical.

"You still could have done that in a more civilized manner," Serena said

"Hey, you do things your way and I do things my way, now, let's see. Name: Aaron Jacob- oh that's quaint, Bass. Date of birth: March 3rd, 2010 8:37 AM. Hospital: Alta Bates in California. Father: Charles Malcolm Bass. Moth-"

"Malcolm?" Serena repeated, Chuck looked up glaring at her

"I didn't name myself, my mother did. At least it wasn't Ceila," Chuck said

"Touché, continue," Serena said

"Mother…. That bitch! She blanked out her own name! It doesn't say her name, or the grandparents on the mother's side, heck, doesn't even have her date of birth on here. But hey, at least it says everything about me on it. It even has my real mom's information as paternal grandmother. This chick was a definite stalker," Chuck said tossing the paper down

"A stalker you touched and fucked," Blair pointed out

"Jealous?" Chuck asked

"You wish," Blair said

"Normally, yes, but in this case, it is you who is doing the wishing," Chuck said

"Look here, Chuck Ass, I am not here to fight with you, or listen to you try to be witty. I am here because Serena called me over. If you want to be all you, be my guest but wait until after your party. I already bought a dress," Blair said

"Some habits never change," mumbled Chuck rising from the bed and going over to his liquor cabinet. He opened the doors and pulled out a drawer revealing a lone box tied with silver ribbon. He brought the box out and walked over to Blair holding it out until she took it.

"Is that the gift, Chuck?" Serena asked, her eyes focused intently on the small thing. Chuck nodded. "Hey, buddy, why don't we go introduce you to Eric? He's your uncle," Serena said steering Aaron out of the room to give the two some space. She knew it'd be a Chair moment and as much as she loved meddling in other people's lives, she'd learned it was best to stay out of Chuck's love life.

"What is this?" Blair asked lightly

No response.

"What is this?" she roared near hysterics. Being alone with Chuck was always unnerving and even more so seeing as he gave her a gift. Chuck gave gifts for three reasons. A, he was being kinky and perverted; B, he was forced into it by someone more powerful; or C, he actually gave a shit. And even with those three reasons, the only people he had ever given gifts to were all in that house.

"It's yours," Chuck said and seeing her look, he added, "and Nate's. The gift is for both of you and there's a card for each of you. It was for your wedding. I meant to send it or go and bring it to you guys but everyone time I was going to I stopped. I'm no good at this stuff, so, I'm not sure what I should say. Just, just open it,"

"What does it say, Chuck?"

"Basically… basically, it was me saying everything I ever wanted to say without actually saying it. I cleared my head and I think there are even a few tear stains on there, but those are mostly from Serena who read it and nearly flooded my house afterwards. She's clumsy,"

"…"

"I hope you accept it, actually, I order you to accept it."

"I am not one of your maids, you can't order me to do anything,"

"I only meant you need to take it. Read my letter. You can fuck the gift for all I care just read the damn letter."

She opened the box and pulled out a card addressed to her. She took out the piece of paper and started reading. She was silent for nearly ten minutes, reading and re-reading and re-reading again. Finally, she looked up at him.

Chuck searched her face the entire time for any signs of anything but there was nothing. When she looked up, he looked into those eyes and saw absolutely nothing. She was blank and mute. Then suddenly, she placed the letter on the bed and advanced towards him a smile growing on her face with each step.

"Charles, do you remember Spring Break in UES? Everything that would happen and all the traditions that were created?" she asked, he nodded not sure what she was getting at, "What about Spring Break of '04?"

He chuckled.

"That was the year Nate _accidentally_ fell in a well on the 19th of April causing him to stay at the lodge all the next day while we went to the show with Serena and Eric,"

"What about '08?"

"You mean the Spring Break where me and my lovable family flew to Monaco where a televised brawl between my mother and Lily took place?"

"Yeah, and Lily kicked your mom's ass,"

"Where's this going?"

"Our tradition, Bass. How many years have we broken it?"

"I wouldn't-"

"Chuck,"

"Nine years,"

"So, that's nine years to make up for,"

"What do you-"

"Just close your eyes, Chuck,"

* * *

_April 2017- Family Room. Bass Residence, Manhattan_

Persuading a Bass into doing something he did not want to do was like getting front row seats the day of a good show; damn near impossible. Being a Bass herself, you'd expect Serena to be more stubborn than most, however, she was dealing with a seven year old who truly could not care less.

"Come on, it'll be fun, there's ice cream," Serena said

"I'm lactose intolerant," Aaron said

"There'll be music," Serena tried again

"I have two left feet," Aaron said

"There'll be presents,"

"I… are any for me?"

"Um…"

"I'm allergic to wrapping paper,"

"Gosh, kid, what will it take to get you in there?"

"Nothing. I don't want to go in there. It's too many people and they'll just look at me and turn away. Nobody likes me,"

Serena didn't know whether she should smile because she knew why he didn't want to go in or cry because he sounded truly troubled.

"I like you," said Serena honestly

"But you're a girl, it doesn't matter what you think," Aaron said making his aunt frown. There was the Chuck side.

"It's only a few people. Just your daddy's friends and I'm going to introduce you before we go in. Also, this is the UES, and they are a ton of adults, they'll love you no matter what,"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive,"

"…Is there cake?"

"Huh?"

"You said they had ice cream, I don't like ice cream, it makes me have to doodie. Do they have cake?"

"I'm pretty sure they have cake," Serena said smiling

"Then let's go, the quicker we go in there, the quicker we eat cake," Aaron said starting for the door. Serena quickly went to it and held him back. She looked into the room and saw nearly twenty people mingling and laughing including the Humphrey clan - minus Jenny, the Waldorf's - including the illustrious Roman who was always missing from these things, the Archibald's - except for the Captain who was very busy mentoring young drug addicts at the center, and of course the family of the birthday boy. She cleared her throat and got the attention of them all.

"Hello, and thank you for coming to Chuck's party. Today is not only Mr. Bass' birthday but also a chance to introduce the newest and greatest addition to the clan ever. May you all raise your glasses and swear in Aaron Jacob," Serena stepped aside once again and Aaron took his cue to walk into the room. Everyone cooed and looked at him as if he was a new puppy they had just been given for Christmas. The quickest people over to them were Eric, Lily, Bart, Roman, and Eleanor. The first one to speak was of course Eleanor.

"Newest addition?" repeated Eleanor raising her eyebrow

"Yes, have you guys ever heard of Gossip Girl?" Serena asked

"That site all you kids were obsessed with as teens?" Lily asked

"Of course, if you actually went there, you would know already that there's a Bass we never knew about," Serena said

"That'd be me," Aaron said jumping up

"It's probably in the Society Pages as well," Serena said referring to the adult version. It was basically Gossip Girl for the parents of the Upper East Side.

"Oh, yes, I do remember reading something about a new addition to a high class family but I never considered my own," Lily said

"Well, in short, Chuck's young boozing and womanizing years ago brought forth a lovely gift to our family that we received this morning. I would have Chuck explaining but he's a bit busy tending to something he should have done many years ago," explained Serena hoping that one of them would get the message

"It is his birthday, he should be down here with us, if he doesn't come down quick enough, I'll bring him," Bart said

"I'm sure that won't be required. He should be down shortly," Serena said

"Yes, well, shortly isn't soon enough. I have a meeting to attend in an hour and it takes thirty minutes to make the commute," Bart said glancing at his watch and back at his daughter

"Bart, I thought you said you had no meeting today," Lily said

"Chuck doesn't make a big deal out of his birthday and neither do I. This deal for Chicago will be closed today and I can go out for drinks with the boy tonight, happy?"

Happy wasn't exactly how Lily felt but she could not voice her opinions because at that moment the sound of a body hitting the ground resounded. All eyes looked up and Serena bit her lip happily. If only all her plans worked so well. Not even ten minutes later, Chuck walked downstairs and started greeting people.

"Hey, Daddy?" Nate said going to Chuck

"Don't joke, man," Chuck said hugging his friend

"What? You are a father, now, or have been for quite a few years," Nate said

"He's seven by the way. And I still don't think the kid is mine. Your, um, wife will be helping me figure everything," Chuck said

"Speaking of Blair, where is my darling daughter?" Eleanor asked intruding into the conversation

"She's-"

"Right here," Blair called coming into the room shaking her head wildly, "I was just dying for some fresh air,"

"How fresh was the air, Blair?" Serena asked barely concealing the smirk growing on her face

"Very clear, a light fog, but no where near steamy," Blair said

"I heard there's a very… sunny day on the horizon," Serena said

"I think it's hurricane season actually," Blair said

"Nu uh!" Aaron said climbing onto a chair, "Hurricane season is May through July. Not April!"

"Fine, then, it's just going to be stormy," Blair said, Serena sighed and shrugged

"Is there something I missed?" Chuck asked

"Of course not, how could the birthday boy miss something?" Serena asked

"Okay, nobody move!" Aaron yelled suddenly, "Where is the cake? I was promised cake but look," he pointed to the table, "there's no cake! I want something sweet and fluffy topped with frosting. Is that so much to ask?"

Laughter.

"Well, what do you know? Looks like I _do_ have a grandson," Bart said smiling slightly and trust me, that is a huge accomplishment.

* * *

_Same day- Gossip Girl_

Rumor has it the Bass' have kept up the tradition of UES parties. Always something worthy of talking about. Do you remember our very own Queen B? It's been years but nothing says reunion like a good scandal. I don't know about yours, but my family's reunions are all about games. And it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. The biggest wounds are to the heart. Somebody call 911.

You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl

-

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters (minus Aaron) and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl, Superman, The Upper East Side or anything associated with it. I'm simply a fan with an interest in writing.


	3. Three

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phonebook, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

* * *

**Review Replies:**

I love you guys, I really do. You guys are amazing and if I actually had the time and patience, I'd reply to every one of those reviews that I got, all nine of them for the last chapter. But, I can't. I've got classes that start in a few hours and if I'm late again this time around, I'm fucked, pardon my French

* * *

**Three:**

_May 2016- Elder Bass Residence_

When a person gets married, usually, they accept and dive into a new life leaving behind certain things from their past. When a person's father gets married to another person's mother, that isn't exactly the case. And it usually ends up with said person having to deal with things they never really wanted to. 'Tis was the case for Charles Malcolm Bass.

It was the annual van der Woodsen-Bass Gala. A time where anyone and everyone was welcome. At least, that's what it said on the invitations. Truthfully, you had to either bribe, coax, or earn your way in starting pretty much the day after the previous one. Chuck wasn't exactly sure how it was possible, but somehow, Allison Guye - formally known as Allison Humphrey - got an invite.

"Hello, Eleanor, how are you this fine day?" Chuck asked starting up a conversation with the latest arrival

"Fine, a little jetlagged though. I just flew all the way here from Japan," Eleanor said

"Wow, Japan, that's fascinating. Were you starting another international craze?" he asked

"No, only wanted some real sushi and to see how the fashion district was. Next time, I start an international craze," Eleanor said laughing lightly, Chuck laughed as well but only to be polite. She walked away and the next guest came in, and so on and so forth until there was but one name on the list.

"Allison Guye? Who the fuck is Allison Guye?" Chuck asked

"That's Dan's mom. She got married to neighbor guy and confusingly and ironically, his last name was Guye," explained Serena

"Oh… well, why the hell is she on the list?" Chuck asked

"Our dear mother wanted to rub her success in her enemies face. That and we needed another G," Serena said, Chuck nodded as if that actually made sense and waited. Every year, a different person was in charge of greeting everyone and that year it had been Chuck. He wasn't pleased with the job, especially since Allison was taking forever to arrive. Finally, about two hours after the gala began, she waltzed through the door with Mr. Alex Guye on her arm.

"Hello, and welcome," Chuck said practically pushing them into the house and closing the door.

"Chuck Bass, wow, I expected more," Alex said giving Chuck the once over

"Alex Guye, I expected nothing. Congratulations, you exceeded my expectations," Chuck said turning from them

"Alex, be nice," Allison said, "sorry, Charles, how are you?"

"One, I'm Chuck not Charles, and two, I'm fucking fine, been waiting by the door for two hours for the guests to arrive and by now I'm sure they've drowned all the good scotch. Now, if you'd excuse me, I've got to go find my father's private bar," Chuck said walking away from them.

Searching for Bart Bass' liquor storage proved to be a very time consuming and fruitless effort as Chuck had searched for nearly an hour to no avail. After giving up on finding the cabinet, he walked back downstairs just in time for dinner. The latest girlfriend of Eric's filled his usual seat, next to Serena and across from Eleanor, causing Chuck to have to sit in the closest available. In the G section next to Allison. To say dinner was taking forever was an understatement. By the time the salad was brought out, he was already ready to pull his hair out and kick the two out. They just couldn't shut up.

"Do you remember Jenny, Chuck?" Allison asked

"What a lovely girl, don't you think?" added Alex

"She lives with me now in Hudson. She got her first taste the semester after Dan left. The loft reminded her too much of her brother," Allison said

"Geek," Chuck said thinking aloud

"Oh, Dan wasn't a geek, he was a lovely boy. Would never have ended up like this," Allison said glancing around the dining room as if it was inadequate.

"Yes, what has become of Daniel?" Chuck asked rhetorically knowing the answer. The two shut up quickly. "He's using the ever famous line that has brought so many great politicians to power. 'Would you like fries with that?'"

Allison and Alex watched Chuck as he smirked and turned to eat his food. Allison was stunned. What could any woman possibly see in the boy besides money? He was a tyrant ruler of a nonexistent kingdom and the rest of the existent population of the real world had to deal with him. Quickly, almost like reflexes, Allison said something back to Chuck that shut him up as fast as lightning.

"How's Blair?"

"What?"

"How's Blair, _Chuck?_ You do still keep in touch while she's living in California with _your_ best friend. Aren't you so happy for them? They found love in-"

"They found lust and a safety blanket but love was certainly not in the package,"

"Ooh, a little touchy. I see it is still a soft spot, I'll try not to hit it this evening," Allison said giving him a look that was meant as a warning. He rolled his eyes and pushed his chair back from the table.

"I'll be leaving now," he said before walking out on yet another family meal. It seemed to happen a lot those days.

* * *

_April 2017- Master's Study. Bass Residence, Manhattan_

These days, it's practically common knowledge that the secret to staying young is a good, carefree, loving relationship. If so, the Upper East Side should be filled with zombies and hobos, the King of the Zombies being Chuck Bass with his reluctant Queen, Blair.

"Now, if he's seven and was born in March, then he'd have to be conceived in-"

"Do you know how sexy you look while working on a case?" Nathaniel Archibald asked his wife of two years

"Probably as sexy as I look when cooking, or dressing, or doing research, or eating, or driving a car. Nate, no. I'm working," Blair said looking over her papers again. It was the day after Chuck's birthday and she was starting her work on the whole Aaron issue. It was not easy to work though, seeing as her tasteless and horny husband was looming over her shoulder. He was almost as bad as Chuck in high school.

"But no one's here and it can be quick," Nate said

"No! Nathaniel Archibald, listen to me. We are not having sex until this case is closed," Blair said

"But it is closed. We all know that kid is Chuck's, what more is there to know?" Nate asked

"How about who the mother is? Who was the inconsiderate, oblivious, and ultimately idiotic witch who left a seven-year-old boy with Chuck? That's like leaving little boys with Micheal Jackson; only instead of sexual harassment, it's mental trauma they receive. Nate, just go back to the hotel. I'll see you after I've figured something out," Blair said

"Lunch, meet me outside the Palace at noon," Nate said

"I've got a lot of work here, Nate," Blair said and she wasn't just making up excuses, honestly, she did have a lot to do.

"Well, work will wait. I am your husband and you can't just ignore me. I_will_ see you outside the Palace at noon, understood?"

Blair momentarily considered the option of listening to him but his demanding tone tempted her to just kick him out and go on with her business. She did not have to answer though because Chuck walked in the room.

"Blair, Serena requests that you get your butt up to her room pronto. She says it's a code seven, whatever that means," Chuck said

"Oh, a code seven, this is urgent. Better be leaving," Blair said collecting her papers and sashaying out of the room.

"Chuck, what are you doing?" Nate asked after she had left

"What do you mean what am I doing?" Chuck asked

"You can tell the kid is yours, I can tell the kid is yours, and the kid damn sure can tell he's yours. Why are you doing all this crap?" Nate asked

"I-"

"Are you trying to take my wife from me?" Nate asked

"I would never try to-"

"I see what's going on, you're using your son as an excuse to get close to Blair. You're disgusting you know that. Why don't you just go fuck some maid and leave her alone?"

"Why would I go looking for a maid when the biggest slut in Manhattan is upstairs?"

"Oh, Serena's home,"

"That was a low blow… but I bet me and Blair can get lower,"

"You're gonna get lower alright, and you're not gonna have to worry about another one of these cases again if you mess with Blair,"

"What ever do you mean, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked feigning stupid

"I mean Charles Bass becoming Charlotte Bass," Nate said

"Wow, you know another Chuck Bass," Chuck said

"You're such an ass," yelled Nate

"The one and only, now if you please, get the hell out of my home," Chuck said pointing to the door

"Gladly," Nate said pushing past him

"And I'll take good care of Blair, I swear to use a condom," Chuck called after him making sure Nate heard him but the ladies upstairs couldn't.

"What's a condom?" asked Aaron appearing from behind the open door

"It's nothing you need to know about, kid," Chuck said

"Well, is it a type of candy? Because I'm hungry and my blood sugar is low," Aaron said

"How would you know if your blood sugar is low?" Chuck asked

"I haven't had any cake in the last twenty-four hours because _somebody_ had a healthy birthday party," Aaron said

"No,_somebody_ was forced into a healthy birthday meeting that somebody didn't want to go to," Chuck said

"Why didn't somebody want a birthday party?" Aaron asked

"Because somebody thinks birthdays are a waste of money and time," Chuck said

"Well… I'm still hungry," Aaron said

"Then go get Serena to cook you something," Chuck said

"Chuck!" Blair said showing up at the bottom of the stairs, "You can not subject this boy to that kind of evil,"

"I thought you hated kids," Chuck said

"Whether I hate the little puke sacks or not is not the concern. May I remind you what happens when Serena tries to cook?" Blair asked

"No, permanently etched in my mind, just like that one tape I never erased," Chuck said

"Let's not go there, Chuck. Let's go somewhere else," Blair said

"Where did you have in mind?" Chuck asked, Blair smirked

* * *

_April 2017- Troy's Place. Manhattan, New York._

"Out of all the places in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York, you had to pick here," Chuck said, eyes intently focused on Blair. Blair had taken them out of the house and told her driver a number. Evidently, number three meant the stupid restaurant that was used as a place to get food after they had… never mind. It just didn't bring back good memories for him, okay?

"It was the first place to come to mind, Charles," Blair said

"Must you call me Charles?" Chuck asked

"What would you rather I call you?" Blair asked

"Chucklekins," suggested Aaron

"Hell no," Chuck said

"Hey, you said a bad word," Aaron said

"I did not," Chuck said

"Chuck, you kind of did," Blair said

"Since when is hell a bad word?" Chuck asked

"When it's used in that sense, it's a bad word. And since you have a son, you need to monitor your language," Blair said

"The hell I will,"

"Ooh, you cussed again," Aaron said

"Fine, fine, the _heck_ I will. Is that good for you?" asked Chuck sarcastically, Aaron nodded

"To make sure no one cusses, we'll even start a swear jar. Twenty dollars a word," Blair said

"How rich do you think I am?" Chuck asked

"Quite rich actually but this has nothing to do with money. You keep your mouth tight and shut and you'll never have to worry about paying that itty bitty fee," Blair said

"Well, that itty bitty fee will be coming from your brunch tab. Just order your food," Chuck said waving to the waiter. He was placing his order when he noticed that Aaron looked like a bobble head. Rocking back and forth with this odd look on his face.

"Are you okay?"

Blair had beaten him to the punch and asked the question he was wondering.

"I have to go bathroom," Aaron said still wobbling in his seat

"Well, go then," Chuck said

"I can't go by myself," Aaron said

"Why not?" Chuck asked

"I get shy when by myself," Aaron said

"If you have to piss, go piss," Chuck said

"Forty dollars, Chuck," Blair said

"How the fuck does piss count?" Chuck asked

"Eighty," Blair said

"What! I was asking you a question, what am I supposed to say?" Chuck asked

"How the f-word does the p-word count?" Blair asked demonstrating

"Fine, b-word, how the f-word does the p-word count as an f-wording cuss word? Because in my book, the p-word simply means peeing," Chuck said

"It counts because you wouldn't want Aaron repeating it. Now, take your son to the bathroom, he looks like he's about to explode," Blair said

"I don't see why I have to go," Chuck said

"Unless you want pee soup for brunch, we gots to go," Aaron said

"Fine, fine, fine!"

Chuck rose from the table and pulled Aaron off towards the bathroom. As he dragged the poor boy from their spot, he failed to notice, as he seemed to always do, the cell phones lowering from the tables. Some things never change.

Not even ten minutes later, Blair's phone vibrated as a new text rolled in. The subject was, 'For old times sake', and after opening it, Blair pretty much wished she hadn't. Gossip Girl had always had some odd obsession with her and it obviously hadn't ended when she left high school. Tucking her phone away and plastering on a nice smile, Blair greeted the returning boys. Aaron looked relieved but Chuck just looked pissed, pardon my language.

"Why so angry, Chuck?" Blair asked

"The kid didn't even have to go," Chuck said collapsing into his chair completely frustrated

"I did have to go, I went when you weren't looking," Aaron said

"You were looking?" Blair asked surprised at him, looks like Chuck was more like MJ than she thought.

"I was never looking and he never went," Chuck said

"I went potty when you were fixing your hair in the mirror," Aaron said

"How would you know what I was doing if you were inside a stall?" Chuck asked

"I was standing on the potty," Aaron said

"Why weren't you going to the bathroom?" Chuck asked

"Because I can't go to the bathroom with the seat down, DUH!"

"Why was the seat down?"

"I don't know, somebody put it down,"

"So, you stand on it and watch me?"

"Uh huh,"

"I am never taking you to the bathroom again,"

"But what if I have to go again?"

"Go alone,"

"But I can't go by myself,"

"Yes, you can, you went by yourself less than two minutes ago,"

"But somebody has to be there with me,"

"You_always_ have someone with you," Chuck said knowing at least one of them would get what he was saying

"Who?" Aaron asked. He wasn't the one.

"Chuck!" Blair exclaimed slapping the older Bass, who shrugged in response

"No one," Chuck said shaking his head and looking at his empty scotch glass. Barely noon and he was already drinking. Old habits die hard apparently.

"I'm bored," Aaron said

"Go play in traffic," Chuck said

"Then I'd get hit by a car," Aaron said

"That's the point," Chuck said, Aaron looked down puzzled

"Why don't you go play by the revolving door? Just don't get any limbs stuck in it" Blair added in as an afterthought, Aaron nodded and walked off sullenly leaving Blair to yell at Chuck in peace.

"I just proposed an idea," Chuck said defensively

"An idea that hurt his feelings," Blair said

"He's seven, how can I hurt his feelings?"

"Everyone has feelings, even you Chuck,"

"Well, you can't feel with a broken heart,"

"You sound like a broken down teenage girl,"

"Aww, Blair, I didn't know there was a resemblance in our tones,"

"Chuck-"

"Blair,"

"Chuck, seriously-"

"Blair, seriously,"

"Will you stop being such an ass!" screamed Blair drawing some wandering eyes in their direction

"No!" screamed Chuck back

"Gosh! You are so infuriating," raged Blair

"So, I've been told," Chuck said

"Why are you such a bitch?" asked Blair

"Takes one to know one, B," Chuck said

"Well, I learned from the master," Blair said

"Who? Your mother?"

"Ooh, taking jokes from Serena again?"

"At least, I'm not taking romantic advise from her,"

"You should, even she can keep a relationship longer than you,"

"She can also fit a bra better than me. Surprisingly, neither choice sounds appealing,"

"Sure about that?"

"Changed my mind, you are the master of bitchiness,"

"And you are the master of assholeiness,"

"That's not even a word!"

"I know you are but what I am,"

"That doesn't fit in, Blair,"

"Your face doesn't fit in,"

"Okay, you've definitely spent too much time with my sister over the years,"

"The only person I'm spending too much time with is you and I can't wait until this stupid case is over, so, I can-crap!"

"Crap? Wow, you can't wait to finish this job so you can shit,"

"No, not crap as in body execration, crap as in that," Blair said turning his head towards where Aaron was crying on the ground.

"Oh… crap,"

The two got up and went over to him, the eyes of the crowd still following them.

"What happened?" Chuck asked

"A bee stungded my finger," Aaron said, crystalline tears running down his cheeks

"Well, suck it up," Chuck said causing even more tears to come from Aaron's eyes accompanied this time by sniffles and loud noises. If everyone on the floor wasn't already looking at them, they were by then.

"It hurts," cried Aaron holding his finger tightly to try and ease the pain. It didn't work.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Chuck asked

"Kiss it," Aaron said waving his finger in Chuck's face

"I am not kissing your finger," Chuck said

"But kisses make things better," wined Aaron

"Then let Blair kiss it," Chuck said pushing the finger towards Blair who shook her head

"It's a parent's job, Chuck. Go on, kiss his finger," Blair said

"I will not," insisted Chuck

"You've kissed every part of the female anatomy yet you won't kiss your own son's finger when it hurts," Blair said loudly getting their audience to shake their heads and whisper about him. Chuck groaned and lightly pecked Aaron's finger. Almost instantly, Aaron's crying slowed down to sniffles. The cooing began because that display of parenting was so unique and beautiful that, oh what am I kidding? Everyone was trying not to laugh at such a mushy act done by none other than Chuck Bass.

"There, I did it," Chuck said looking at the chipper brunette distastefully

"See, was that so hard?" Blair asked

"Harder than you'll ever know," Chuck responded. Blair watched him put his head on the table and then looked at the saddened boy and decided to end his misery.

"Alright, show's over people, move on with your lives or I'll sue you all. I'm sure I can find something to sue for,"

Blair's tone and her look was enough to get everyone to turn back to their mates. They were, no doubt, talking about what had just happened but at least they weren't watching them anymore.

"I want some cake," Aaron said sitting back in his chair and inhaling a bit shakily

"They don't have cake here. It's brunch, not dessert," Chuck said rolling his eyes at the child

"But after something bad happens I always get cake. That's what they did at the orphanage," Aaron said

"Probably just to shut him up," grumbled Chuck

"You know who makes good cake, Aaron," Blair began

"The chef," Chuck said snapping his fingers and cutting her off before she had the opportunity to tie him into another horrible mistake. In a matter of moments, a cake was being baked just to shut up Aaron. By the time, it came forward, both Chuck and Blair were eyeing it with a lust the other had only seen in the back of a certain limo two days before a certain birthday.

"Hey, Aaron," Chuck started cautiously trying so hard to control himself

"Yes?" Aaron asked lifting his frosting covered face up to see his father looking at the cake

"Don't you want to share the cake with me?" Chuck asked

"Not really," Aaron said honestly

"Mind sharing it with me?" Blair asked, Aaron looked up at Blair and she could have sworn she saw hearts appear in his eyes.

"Of course," Aaron said pushing a piece of cake towards her. Chuck looked at her slack jawed and she started laughing.

"I think Daddy wants some cake too," Blair said, Aaron looked at Chuck, his cake, Blair, and then Chuck again. With a sigh, he pushed a slice to Chuck as well.

Chuck wasn't quite sure why but for some reason, he actually smiled at Aaron and considered for a quick second that maybe, just maybe having a sugar obsessed son wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

_Gossip Girl_

**Spotted:**

C and B enjoying a not so nice brunch with Jr.. Seems C is actually sticking around for more than one course. Too bad Parenting 101 isn't on the menu.

You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl

* * *

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters (minus Aaron) and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl, The Upper East Side, Micheal Jackson (like I'd want to), or cake. Although, right now, cake does sound pretty good. Wonder if Aaron would share with me…. 


	4. Four

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phonebook, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

**-**

**Four:**

_July 1997- Elder Bass Residence. Manhattan, New York._

"Where have you been?" she yelled, her voice quaking with emotion

"Next to you, I'm leaving now," he yelled back

"You have not been next to me! You have been out with that slut again," she yelled

"Why do you keep accusing me of cheating?" he asked

"Because that's all you fucking do, Bart!" she said

Chuck Bass, age five, rolled over in his bed once again and looked at the wall. His parents were fighting again. They always fought. It was the eighth time that month they had woken him up like that. He was sick of it. Without giving it another thought, Chuck leapt from his bed and crept down the stairs of the mansion towards the door. He walked outside and ran across the street where he'd find the only person who could possibly help him at a time like that.

"Bear! Bear!"

Chuck knocked on the front door of the Waldorf summer home as loudly as he could. He had to get inside and Blair always slept downstairs with Dorota in front of the TV. He'd been over enough times to know that. The door opened and Blair gazed at him through tired eyes.

"Charles, it's three in the morning, why are you here?" Blair asked staring at the friend who had woken her up

"They were fighting again," Chuck said knowing that Blair would understand. Of course, she opened the door more after that and let the boy through. The two walked quietly through the house and up the stairs to Blair's room. It was a room very different than what you'd expect from a five-year-old girl. You'd think Barbies, pink, and frills, but Blair was more mature than that. Besides, that had been her theme when she was three and she did not repeat things. Her room was a pretty basic room with a television and a wall of stuffed animals directly next to a closet that held enough clothes to bury her alive. She quickly went to her bed and he joined her immediately after.

"What happened this time?" she asked finally breaking the silence

"He came home late and Mommy got mad," he said

"Well, you know, it's definitely-"

"Don't try the 'it's nothing' line. My dad keeps getting in trouble with my mom. They can't agree on nothing no more,"

"They'll get pass it,"

"Just like Nate's grandpa got pass the truck,"

"That's mean, Charlie,"

"Don't call me that!" Chuck said bouncing a bit on the bed in anguish. Blair had to stop herself from giggling. She knew how much names bothered him. He only liked being called Chuck. Charlie, Charles, Chucky, and anything along those lines only frustrated him. That's why she did it though. It distracted him and although she'd never admit it, he looked cute when he tried to be angry. Note the tried; she knew he could never be angry with her. She was Blair Waldorf for Pete's sake.

"Aww, Chuck, you love it," Blair said

"Nu uh! I hate it. Call me Chuck," Chuck said

"But Charlie is handsome," she said trying to convince him

"Well, I don't want to be handsome," he said defiantly

"What do you want to be then?" she asked

"I want to be… Genie!" he said

"You want to watch a movie?" she repeated confused. He nodded and she rolled off her bed to fetch the video. When she returned, she found that Chuck had already settled himself comfortably onto the bed and he seemed to be content enough for her to join him. She crawled onto her bed and pressed play. A few minutes into the movie, Chuck turned to look at her and, for some odd reason, she wiggled under his gaze.

"You cold?" he asked

"Actually-"

She stopped talking when Chuck scooted closer to her allowing them to pull the blanket over adequately. Without really thinking about it, they kept moving in throughout the first half of the movie allowing themselves to yawn and laugh and do whatever with their best friend. At the time, Serena wasn't Blair's best friend because truly, Blair was jealous of her and she was annoyed by her. Nate was also not Chuck's best friend because Chuck just could careless about Nathaniel Archibald.

Before Jafar could even get the lamp, Chuck fell asleep. He started peaceful but then he seemed to grow wild. He seemed to be having a nightmare and the pooped brunette couldn't help but worry. She tried singing to him - quietly so not to wake him or her parents, tried cooling him down - but after growing cold herself she put the blanket back on, but in the end, all she could do was wait until he woke up. He did eventually. And when he did, she just hugged the frightened boy and rocked back and forth until he was sleeping once more. Just as sleep was overcoming her, she said something, something she'd never really forget.

"I love you, Charlie Bass, and I promise, no one is ever gonna hurt you again,"

Little did she know, she'd break her own promise just a few years later.

* * *

_February 2008- Manhattan, New York_

It had been a bit over a month since the fall of Blair Waldorf from power. She was still eating alone during lunch but it was mostly by her own choosing. A few weeks after she fell, she was approached by Chuck. He, in his own ass backwards way, apologized for what he had said and proposed that he help her get her thrown back. In return, he wanted her to give him a chance. To say the least, she had turned him down saying she could do it herself and that she was interested in Nate and only Nate and that he could never measure up. Chuck was insulted and hurt but she was too blind to notice. Weeks later, she regretted her decision, not because of Chuck but because she had another fight with Serena. It hadn't gone well and she was stuck by herself once again. She had but one choice and it was to go to Chuck and beg for forgiveness. She wasn't sure what he'd say but she was going to talk to him. He would never talk to her in public so she had to go to the one place where he'd talk to anyone.

"Chuck,"

She beckoned him towards her as he walked into the Palace bar. Despite, what she guessed was, his better judgment, he stopped.

"Bitch,"

She didn't wince at hearing what he wished to call her. She understood why he said it. She had turned him down when he was weak and vulnerable. But she was Blair Waldorf! What had he expected? Her to run into his arms and beg him to take her back. Last time she'd done that, he'd compared her to his father's horses and that was just plain wrong.

"I… um… how are you, Chuck?" she asked trying to buy some time. He rolled his eyes.

"Look, we both know this is not about how I am but about you. Now what the hell do you want?"

He was not in the mood for games, noted Blair sadly. She liked games. But then again she wasn't after fun; she was after popularity.

"Look, you came to me last month and told me that you had an idea to get my crown back. I'm sick of being a loner. A loner can't be a total bitch. It's not very fun,"

She was being completely honest. She was already damned, so, why not tell the truth?

"You know what's not fun, Waldorf. Trudging up the many floors of the Palace hotel leaving a trail of blood behind,"

"Blood?"

"Yes, where my heart used to be, sadly, it was-wait, I don't have a heart! So, why don't you stop trying to compel to the human inside of me and offer something worth while like the little slut that you are,"

"Okay, cut the crap, Bass. We both know what we want out of this, so, why don't you tell me what it is that'll get you to help me. _Besides_, sex. I've already made that mistake a few more times than I would have liked,"

"Mistake? That's not what you were saying a few months ago,"

"A few months ago, I was young and naive,"

"Ahh, you've come such a long way, Bear,"

"Well,_Charlie_, let's see just how far I've come. I'm willing to… dance. Not for you but at your club,"

"My club? You're going to dance at my club! For how long?"

"Anywhere between twelve minutes and twelve weeks,"

"Really?"

"Yes, Ass, I'll be one of your stupid dancers for up to twelve weeks,"

"Do I have to use all my time at once?"

"No, you don't. In fact, you could use the time seven years from now for all I care,"

"Let's spice this up, shall we? I get you your seat on the steps and you become one of my employees for up to twelve weeks but I choose the amount of time, the dates, and when it's over."

"Deal,"

"Wait, I have to get a contract drawn, I need to have this in writing,"

"Can we sign the contract later? I want to know what you can do for my reputation,"

"That's simple. I date you,"

"Date me!?" she shrieked attracting many a wandering eye. "I mean," she cleared her throat, "date me?" she whispered angrily

"Yes, Oh Loud One. I am the biggest womanizer in Manhattan. If you were to somehow tie me down in any kind of relationship that goes beyond just sexually. You'd be a God. You would have done the impossible! Therefore, you could not be ignored. When all eyes are on you, you exert revenge tactfully and claim your spot on the disgusting piece of cement you females enjoy sitting on every morning,"

There was silence as Blair thought it over. She'd have to date Chuck, but she'd be able to be on top again. She'd have to work in some filthy club, but she'd get to tear down the bitches who had scorned her. She wouldn't necessarily win but she wouldn't lose either. Nate would probably hate her forever. Although, he did come back to her last time she was with Chuck. But that was only because she looked happy. Why was she happy? Could it be because… no! She cut that thought off quickly. It'd taken her a while but she had managed to establish that Chuck was nothing but a pile of shit that she happened to cross paths with everyday. And, in accordance, any slutty wench who found him attractive, or found certain parts of his anatomy very cozy, was an idiotic fly that was attracted to the aroma of said shit. She did, every time she thought back on it and those were an awful lot of times, never mind the fact that she herself had been a fly at one point. She was Blair Waldorf. It wasn't an excuse; it was a fact. She was better than the rest. She had to be. It was exactly why she was agreeing with Chuck then. She had to be better than the rest. Because if she wasn't… what was she?

"I'm in," spoke Blair with an odd determination in her voice. Evidently, she wasn't ready to find out

* * *

_April 2017- The New York Tipton Hotel. New York!!!!_

Nine years later, Blair still wasn't ready to find out what would happen if she wasn't better than the rest of the world. She'd grown up in a scandalous web of lies and wealth. She'd been taught not to go for the right kind of wrong but the right kind of cash. Early on, Upper East Siders were taught a few basic rules that insured they'd have a very prosperous future. In their adolescent stage, most tried to disregard the rules and go their own way. By college, very few wanted freedom. Most wanted structure and oodles and oodles of inheritance money early. Blair Waldorf was not one for anything but structure. She spent her college years focused on the books and not her social welfare. The only people she communicated with outside of her classes were Serena, her boyfriend for the first two years (Jonah) and Nate. The rest of the world just didn't seem important. As long as she had Nate, she'd be fine.

"You are the second biggest, most inconsiderate bastard in the entire universe!"

Correction, as long as she had Nate _then_, she'd be fine. But on the morning after, the morning after Chuck's birthday, she'd be fine without him. He was becoming this jealous monster. Who knew that one little note could cause so much trouble?

"Oh, let me guess who's first. Is it your _true_ love, Chuck?"

Nate wasn't too happy then either. He had woken up on April 22nd to find his wife cozily reading over a piece of paper. She had the most content smile on her face and she looked absolutely enthralled. He wasn't quite sure what made her so happy, so, he grabbed the letter and he read it. To say the least, it had pissed him off. His best friend was at it again. He wasn't even sure if Chuck was trying but if he was it was not a fair fight. Nate was nowhere near spontaneous enough to compete with Chuck Bass in a battle for someone like Blair. In a battle of wits, sure, he'd mop the floor with the scarf-wearing yahoo. But in ways of being accidentally romantic and in a unique way perfect was not something he could do. He was like a robot. You put in the equation and he gave you the solution. Whereas with Chuck, he gave you the solution and you made the equation to fit and probably a new solution as well because his was so fucking twisted you had to rewrite it.

"He is not my true love! You are, Nate,"

"Well, by the way you were drooling over this letter, I'd think not,"

"I was not drooling over the letter, Nathaniel. I was looking over it and examining it for grammatical errors,"

"That is the lamest excuse in the world. Wait, second lamest next to 'I'm Blair Waldorf damnit! I do what I want to do'!"

"Never mind, you are first, you make Chuck look sweet,"

"Oh, there he comes in again! You and that-"

"You may want to take on a new personality, Mr. Archibald. Green is not your color,"

"I'm not jealous of him,"

"Of course you aren't. Aaron is also Dan's nephew and Lily is really over Humpty Senior,"

"Look,_Mrs. Archibald_, you are my wife and you do what I want you to do,"

"If I would have known you would have kept bringing this wife thing over me all the time, I would have just stayed with Jonah,"

"Great, another old guy you dated. What was it about Jonah huh?"

"He was someone sweet, unlike you. And he was someone classy, unlike…. Why are we even talking about this? Jonah, much like his name, is so last decade,"

"I just… I can't even look at you right now. How long have you been dreaming about Chuck? Thinking about Chuck? Fucking Chuck?"

"I have not slept with Chuck in years. And it's going to stay that way. He's a horrible person, a horrible boyfriend, a horrible father, and he's a-never mind, can't say that,"

"Can't say what? Can't say what, Blair? Go ahead, say whatever you want to because I don't care,"

"Fine! I was going to say he's a horrible lover but whoops, that'd be you!"

"…"

"Yeah, Nate, really, you suck in bed. I could ignore it at first but really, after a while all your faults started just piling up. You wear the worst smelling cologne. You can go weeks without brushing your teeth and expect to kiss me. You're always in the mood. You don't care about my career. You have a horrible sense in fashion. You floss and leave the used dental strings lying around. And really, what the hell were you thinking when you bought a waterbed? That is not soothing, it's nauseating!"

She paused to breathe and looked at his awestruck face. She could understand perfectly. She hadn't meant to say everything on her mind but he told her to say whatever. She wasn't at fault, truly, she wasn't. She could feel her anger growing as she watched him. He just stood there with that stupid look on his face. He didn't fight back. He didn't even look at her. She shook her head and went to her carry on luggage. She needed to get away.

After throwing some essentials in a bag, she glanced at him once again only to see that he had now sat down to stare at nothing. She left the suite, got in the elevator, and left the hotel. There was no way she could stay there with him one second longer

* * *

_Same day- Bass Residence_

The door opened and Chuck's face was priceless. He had just recovered from the last time she had been near him. It took all night to get Aaron to calm down after the cake and the swimming and not to mention, the fact that Blair had forced him to sit through kids shows with Aaron while she got manicures with Serena. He was curious if she was working of vacationing. His curiosity only went so far, then his anger came in.

"Do you know how many free hotel rooms there are around this time of year?" she asked walking into the house and towards the stairs

"No, but I'm sure we can find you one. What are you doing here?" he asked

"In short, Nate was bugging me, so, I left,"

"Left or _left_?"

"Left, Chuck. It's not that serious,"

"What started it anyway?" he asked wondering what could possibly have opened Blair's eyes. She mumbled something and he asked again.

"The letter, okay!" Another priceless face. "I had taken it out when I woke up to see if you explained your gift in it, which by the way completely matches half my wardrobe for this trip, and he like snatched it, read it, and got pissed,"

"One, of course he got pissed you were reading a letter from me and you know he has that little tick of paranoia when it comes to us. I swear if we're having a conversation and I even mention a woman who's name starts with a B, he loses it. Two, it's the same one you had back in junior year,"

"No, it isn't. Cat shredded the one I had back in junior year when I stayed with Daddy and Roman that summer. Besides, it had a totally different color scheme and matched more of my winter wardrobe while this one matches the spring/early summer wardrobe."

Chuck couldn't even begin to explain how he felt right then. He was a bit angry that she was there but he was also happy, and confused, and shocked that she even remembered what the scarf was. She'd only had to wear it for a few weeks out of the month they spent reviving her status. He would have said something to her but Aaron came in after that screaming and hollering.

"What now!?" Chuck asked looking at Aaron

"Serena-"

"'Nough said," Chuck said cutting the boy off and walking away to deal with his sister. She was really going to make him go deaf.

"Hey Aaron," Blair said ruffling the boy's hair softly.

"Hello Miss Blair," Aaron said

"Oh, call me Blair, no miss involved. We're friends, no need to be formal," Blair said

"Okay… Blair," Aaron said blushing lightly as he said her name. She chuckled. Aaron must not have gotten his social skills from his father.

"Hey, buddy, I'm going to go put my bag down in one of the rooms but when I return, you and me can hang out, okay?"

Aaron nodded so quickly she was sure he must have damaged his neck. In fact, he even took her bag from her and dragged it to a room. He must have missed her. While walking, they passed the room where Chuck and Serena were chatting.

"You told her she could stay!" Chuck yelled

"She couldn't stay there with him, Chuck. He was being rude," Serena said

"So you invite her to stay here! Do you have any idea what happened last time she stayed at my house?" Chuck asked and Serena got a sly smile before nodding

"You know you had fun," Serena said

"Yes, it was oodles of fun up until two hours later when your mother came home. Do you know how hard it was to explain why Blair was there, yet you weren't, and why both of us were wet when only one shower in the house actually worked and the pool was being cleaned?" Chuck asked. Serena didn't want to say anything because she sensed it was rhetorical but she had to say something to defend herself.

"Last time she was at this house you two had some fun," Serena said

"It was not fun. We were making up for nine years worth of tradition," Chuck said

"Oh, you know, you love the tradition, Chuck," Serena said

"Yes, and your mother is sleeping with Dan's father right now," Chuck said

"Wouldn't be surprised, your dad's a sleaze and I'm so over Dan. He's not as great as he was in high school," Serena said

"You're only saying that because he had to go to Europe to accept some award for some writing crap and he didn't take you,"

"It's customary to take your fiancé to Europe,"

"Yes, but when your fiancé is cheating on you with the guy who irons her capris, I'd see the error in that,"

"It was one time, Chuck and all we did was kiss,"

"And hug, and grope, and touch, and-"

"Gosh! You see, this is why Blair always chose Nate over you," Serena said. The room grew tensely silent after that. She knew what she did wrong. He knew what she did wrong. But neither of them really wanted to address it. Eventually one of them did and Chuck was the one.

"Wow, Serena, good to see Pre-boarding school you still exists somewhere,"

He turned from her and exited without saying another word. He did think another word though. In fact, he thought two. 'Fuck Serena.'

--

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters (minus Aaron) and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl, The Upper East Side, Aladdin, or anything else.


	5. Five

_**HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY**_ Strawberry Flavored Love Notes **__**

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phonebook, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

* * *

**Five:**

_April 2017- Gossip Girl_

In every kingdom, there must be a balance, between chaos and order, king and queen, ruler and subjects. In the kingdom that is the Upper East Side, there is but one queen and she rules, no longer alone, with a set of very special seven rules. Her word is law and those who don't listen are punished. Oh, C, always the masochist(1), aren't you?

* * *

_July 1997- The Waldorf Estate_

To Blair Waldorf, life is a fairytale. She begins as the princess, her knight saves her, she becomes queen and she lives happily ever after. When she first met Charles Bass, she knew he had to be her prince simply because he was always there. But when she met Nathaniel Archibald, Chuck was demoted to the crown polisher and best friend. Chuck was not fit for the castle in her eyes and he was even more unfit after spending the night crying his eyes out to her. A girl wants Romeo not Hamlet(2).

"Charlie, don't you have to go home? Your mommy is gonna be scared," Blair said

"I no care. I'm staying here," Chuck said flopping onto the small couch in Blair's bedroom, "I am never going home again,"

"You can't stay here, Charlie," Blair fired

"Chuck! And yes, I can," Chuck said

"_Charlie_," Blair put extra emphasis on his name, "I am an only child. I'm a girl. And I don't want you to live here,"

"Why not?" Chuck asked

"Because the only boy who can stay with me is my prince," Blair said

"I'm not your prince," he said clearly shocked by this turn of events

"Natey is my prince," she said

"But… you don't talk to Natey," he said

"Yeah I do. He's the best," she said

"Then what am I?" he asked

"You can be the knight," she said

"I'm strong then," he said smiling

"Yeah, but you have to listen to me,"

"Okay, what is your first royal degree?"

"Degree one: if I cook, you eat," she said

"Even if its lima beans?" he asked

"Ew, lima beans are nasty," she said

"Then don't cook them," he said

"I won't. Degree two: if I buy it, you wear it, Charlie,"

"But what if it's really, really-"

"You wear it!" she snapped, "Oh, I bought something yesterday. Daddy took me shopping and I buyed a scarf for you,"

"Scarves are itchy," he said

"Well, you wear it anyway," she said going to her closet and picking up the bag. It was weird how he so readily put on the scarf and ran to the mirror. He was surprised. It looked good on him and it wasn't even itchy.

"Thank you, Bear," he said

"It's Queen Blair," she reminded him

"Okay, Queen Bear, more degrees?"

"Yes. Degree three: I wash, you hang. Dorota does the washing and I hang usually 'cause I want to have time to play games. Now, I wash, you hang, okay?"

"But, you don't know how to wash clothes,"

"I'll learn, Charlie. Degree four: if I clean, you keep it clean," she said pushing his feet off her couch. Surprisingly, he didn't put his feet on another couch for years after that. She continued with her rules, rules about bedtime and phone calls and definitely what to do when she gives you orders. She was a control freak and her rules did seem like a lot to remember and follow. So, it really shouldn't be a surprise that Chuck decided going home and living with his dad would be a lot easier than staying with Queen Blair in her little world. Besides, Blair's world seemed more like it was built with one person in mind, herself.

* * *

_April 2017- Bass Residence_

It hadn't taken long for Blair to unpack her bag in her guest room. And it hadn't taken long for Blair to get into a conversation with Serena about the case. But it had taken a long time for her to actually do something worthwhile. On the Upper East Side, there was no such thing as a lazy morning. So, of course, Blair had to find an activity to work on. Somehow, being nanny for a day became it.

She was looking through the kitchen when Aaron came in.

"Blair, I'm hungry," Aaron said

"Well, I'm going to cook in a moment, just wait," Blair said placing some lettuce on the counter

"Can we have cake?" Aaron asked

"Cake isn't breakfast food," Blair said

"But you said you were cooking not making breakfast," Aaron said

"Well, I'm saying no to cake and when I say no, you don't ask why, Aaron," Blair said, Aaron nodded and left the room crossing his angered father on his way out.

"Blair, I checked my liquor cabinet," Chuck said giving her a very pissed look

"And?" prompted Blair taking out some butter and celery

"There was nothing there," Chuck said, "My storage that is usually full is empty. And when I called for someone to fill it, I found all my help had been given the day off today. I know you did it. So, I'd like to ask one question. What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch?"

"Chuck, that's-"

"Forty dollars, I know," he said putting some cash into the jar above the fridge, "You are taking away my right to get drunk in the morning and with you here, I need my rights,"

"Chuck, it's not good for you to drink so much. It's a bad influence on Aaron. I called away the help and allowed them to rest a day. Eric called and he wants to meet you for some fun at noon. You will spend some time with him and I'll take care of everything around here including talking to Aaron about his mother," she said

"I hate you," Chuck said snatching a bottle of wine from under the kitchen sink and sitting at the table. In the olden days, Blair would have retorted with 'love you, too' but it would be very wrong to get his hopes up those days, so, she remained quiet. Or, she was going to until Aaron came back into the room asking for cake again.

"You can't have the cake, Aaron. I said no," Blair said

"Well, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Aaron asked causing both adults to choke on something in their lungs

"Aaron!" Blair said once she got her voice back

"What? He can say it," Aaron said pointing at Chuck

"Just because he can, doesn't mean he should," Blair said glaring at the still recovering male, "Just take a seat Aaron, I'm almost done,"

She went back to fixing whatever she was and ten minutes later, she sat down two plates in front of the boys. Aaron looked at it, then up to her, and took a bite slowly gagging internally. It tasted horrible. While Aaron tried to eat it, Chuck just looked at her as if it was some joke.

"I refuse to eat anything that looks like it came from the backside of an animal," Chuck said pushing the plate forwards

"It's good for you, Chuck," Blair said pushing it back to him

"Blair, this is some kind of health food," Chuck said

"I know, it's good for your colon, your liver, and your mind," Blair said

"Well, my stomach is telling you to bug off my colon, my liver, and my mind," Chuck said

"Yes, I'm sure I plague your mind all the time, don't I, Bass?" Blair asked. Chuck did not answer her. He instead took a bite of the healthy meal and spat it clear onto the table after tasting it.

"This tastes like toes and month old turkey," Chuck said wiping his mouth with a napkin

"It does not. It's a combination of-"

"Crap, shit, and piss, I know, Blair. You cook worse than Serena, gosh! At least she just burns the house. You kill my taste buds," he said

"Yes, you certainly need those so you can taste the nameless, faceless whores who tramp through here on a daily basis," she said

"For your information, even though it is none of your business, I haven't brought a 'nameless, faceless whore' in here for well over two months and not just because Serena is staying here. I've become a much better person. However, I may just be transforming back," Chuck said

"What are you playing at, Chuck? Is that supposed to make me angry or upset? I could careless if you brought some dirty prostitute in here. Just know, if you fuck up that boy's life, I will kill you," Blair said

"Why?" Chuck asked

"Because unlike you, he has potential," Blair said turning and leaving the two Bass men alone. The second she was gone, Aaron spit out what he was eating and dumped all his food into the trashcan.

"That was nasty," Aaron said

"No shit, Sherlock," Chuck said spinning from his chair and walking away as well

"But my name's Aaron," Aaron said following after his dad.

While Aaron tried to figure why Chuck was calling him Sherlock, Blair found another thing she could do in her free time. She had, during her time as a loner back in 2008, learned how to do everything Dorota did. So, she went off and started doing laundry. In between the loads, she cleaned other things like Chuck's office and Aaron's bedroom for example. There was a lot of mess in the house. The clothes were just one thing she needed to make adequate enough. She spent hours washing countless items for the three people who lived there. She even folded them. But putting them away was a different matter. She would need help. She would need Aaron.

She called the boy and he was next to her in an instant putting all his stuff in his room and taking Serena's things to Serena's room and not to mention helping Blair bring the truckload of crap into Chuck's room. She got into the devil's messy lair and saw Chuck sitting on his bed flipping through TV stations. Blair and Aaron dropped his clothes on his bed next to him. He looked at them, looked at the clothes, then went back to the TV.

"Uh, Chuck, aren't you going to put away your clothes?" Blair asked

"Yeah, be a doll and do that for me," Chuck said changing the channel to ESPN

"I'm not a doll, Charles. I'm a human being. And a tired one at that. I just washed all your dirty clothes and cleaned your office and-"

"Wait, you were in my office," Chuck said

"Yes, you have papers everywhere and quite a few magazines. Chuck, you didn't tell me you read ladies magazines as well as _Playboy_," Blair said, Chuck glared at her and left the room. She turned towards Aaron and saw that he was then watching basketball. And watching intently for someone she was sure had no idea what the hell was going on.

"This is weird," Aaron said turning from the TV

"Well, we've still got more clothes to put up. You could do that instead," Blair said. It may have sounded like a proposition but she surely meant he needed to get up and help her. But, then again, secret messages were often lost to seven-year-olds.

"Yeah, be a doll and cover that for _me_ too," Aaron said hopping from the bed and walking out the door.

"Great, he's becoming a Chuck clone," Blair said shaking her head, "Maybe I could get Chuck to behave and Aaron can mimic that behavior. I can start with this room,"

She went at it, vacuuming, mopping, and throwing things out. There were only three instants in the dash to clean Chuck's room that she stopped. They were, in order: when she got lost in his dark closet in a pile of suits, when she found his protective corner (don't ask), and when she found a shoebox under his bed. She had just thought there were shoes in it. Then she opened it.

Inside she found three items. Each were smaller boxes that held something. The first box was the biggest and it held two framed pictures; one of him and Nate as eighth graders and one of her on stage at _Destination: S-E-X_, one of Chuck's clubs back in junior year, winking at the camera holder. The second box was the second biggest and it had a necklace with a butterfly on it. The final box (she gasped when she opened it) had a ring. It was a beautiful, engagement ring. And she recognized it instantly. His mother had worn it through out her marriage to Bart. Then when she left him, she had thrown the wedding band at Bart and handed the engagement ring to Chuck. Blair was there that day. She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it. It was just some old ring. It wasn't even half as beautiful as the Archibald family ring she wore daily. Yet, there she was admiring the ring on her finger as her actual ring lay on the ground next to a pile of dirty magazines. His ring fit her perfectly. Maybe she could just where it a little while longer, she thought. She was going to when Serena walked into Chuck's bedroom.

"B, what are you doing?" inquired the blonde still in the doorway. Blair quickly snatched off the Bass ring and slipped hers back on hoping her best friend didn't notice the exchange or the stashing of the pretty bobble in her pocket.

"Nothing, just trying to make this place look a bit more presentable," Blair said pushing the shoebox back under the bed

"Oh, well, I just caught wind of a very PO'd Chuck Bass. What'd you do?" asked Serena knowingly

"I only went and tried to clean. He just over exaggerated when I cleaned his office-"

"You were in his office!" yelled Serena

"Well, yeah," Blair said obviously missing the point

"Blair, that office is like Chuck's sanctuary. It's the one spot in the house no one, not even big bad Bart, can touch. I haven't even seen the inside of his office," Serena said

"Good for you, that place was pig sty. There were magazines everywhere along with books and, hell, I think I even saw some stuffed animals in there. It was creepy. I arranged everything though. I think he has an odd obsession with women's magazines. He had maybe twenty-seven on his floor," Blair said

"Did you ever think it's not the magazines but the people in them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, remember when the girls of the gang got together and did that whole modeling thing a few years back. You know you remember, Blair, you were the one chosen to do Miss February on the calendar we did,"

"Do not remind me, S. Every year, I see that stupid picture on Valentine's Day. It's Nate's idea of cute wrapping paper,"

"But B, all the guys thought you looked hot like that,"

"Exactly! That was one of the things that contributed to me dumping Jonah. He became this jealous freak who was practically drooling over me and beating the pulp out of everyone else,"

"Well, your mother's line is featured in plenty of magazines. You're in some of those pictures,"

"Another thing not to remind me about. Do you know how hard it was to explain to my father why I was posing in sexy undergarments? And how much harder it was to explain that they were designed by his ex-wife? Roman, now, he thought it was cute that I did it. Daddy on the other hand nearly had a heart attack,"

There was a strange silence that fell over the two and the fact that it was silent in the Bass household did make them curious. The curiosity stopped when they heard a loud bang from across the hall. They ran out and came to a stop in front of Aaron's room where all his clothes were strewn everywhere. There was a sock on the lampshade, little boxers on the doorknob, a tie on his pillow, and that was just the beginning. There were shoes by the window, books on the carpet, and paint was spilled all over the shirt mountain by the bathroom door. It looked like a hurricane had hit and if Blair's expression was any sign, another was due very soon.

"Aaron Jacob Bass," Blair said, her tone dangerously deep compared to her usual one, Aaron froze in his mess making, "What do you think you are doing?"

Aaron turned towards her and gave a weak smile dropping the empty paint bottles that Serena had bought him and wiping his rainbow colored hands on his bedspread. "I'm being like Daddy," he said and the fire inside Blair rose tenfold. She tried to make it so Aaron followed a good example and Chuck gave a bad one at the same time. She stormed from that room and flew down the stairs straight into the office she had earlier cleaned. It looked a hell of a lot worse. And there was a note sitting on the clean desk. It read:

'Stay the fuck away from my stuff, Archibald. I know where you're sleeping and I will not stand for this kind of order in my own domain. Either cut it out or get the hell out. I'm through with you changing crap. From, Chuck'

If it was a cartoon, smoke would have been coming out her ears and her face would be all red. There'd probably also be a split screen of Chuck with a donkey for a head and possibly Serena laughing in the background. But, it was instead real life and the only thing Blair would do was get even and keep track of this war they had going on. There was no way she'd lose a fight to a Bass. No way. A sinister smile lit up her features as she noticed what he had so carelessly left on the ground under a shoe. Now, what could a Waldorf with a vengeance possibly do with a jerk's credit card?

* * *

_April 2017- Some expensive store. Manhattan, New York_

A TV, sunglasses, some perfume from Abercrombie, four purses, eight outfits, and twelve pairs of shoes were all Blair had bought on that pretty little gold card Chuck had forgotten. And it was all she was going to buy until she found the cutest, most adorable thing you could ever have a little boy wear. She just had to buy it, tights and all.

"Excuse me," Blair called the attention of a passing sale's clerk, "Where can I find the orange ensemble in the window?"

"In what size?" asked the clerk hotly, "We've got it in children, teens, and adults. Sadly, it's only for men, though,"

"I'm looking for it for… my son and apparently, men's you say? Hm… my husband would love one too," Blair said

"Cash or credit?" the clerk asked

"Credit," Blair flashed the card and suddenly, that grouchy clerk became a lot easier to work with. Blair found the orange get-ups in record time and was back on her way to the Bass Residence with a gift for the guys. She walked through the door with a smile on her face and found Chuck waiting on the steps with Aaron at his feet.

"Where is my card?" Chuck asked

"It's right here, Charlie," Blair said tossing it to him, "But do I have the thing for you. I just went shopping and I found this breathtaking TV that would look perfect in Aaron's room and some perfume that I'm sure Serena would love and well, I got myself some shoes but then I stumbled into this store with some pretty weird clothing items. I thought I wouldn't find a thing but then it hit me like… like… well, forget what it hit me like. Imagine you and Aaron walking down the street in these,"

She whipped out the orange numbers and the two boys nearly lost their footing. Aaron stepped forward and took the smaller one giving it the once over before sighing and walking to try it on. Chuck just watched her wondering if Nate had truly done something to that bitch's mind because she had to be on something to think he'd wear that. He walked over and grabbed the outfit. She smiled and he took great joy in seeing that pretty thing fall from her face as he ripped his outfit in half. He dropped the pieces in front of her and walked away laughing. Blair picked up the halves with a crushed look on her face. She didn't think it could get worse until Aaron came in wearing his. He saw his father's and shredded his fast as lightning tossing it at her and running away before she could speak. She was out of control, literally. She had no power in that house. Chuck had the power. And a world where Chuck was in charge… that was not one she could deal with. That was not one she _would_ deal with. He should have recognized the rules and backed down. They were the rules with which she held the reigns and he had just snatched them from her. She was becoming desperate to get her position back.

Her desperation turned into inspiration as she remembered the only rule left. She waited patiently as Chuck went out for the night and she waited even more patiently until nine pm arrived. She marched towards Aaron and in a clear voice said, "It's late, Aaron. And before you ask, wine, or yell, that means go to bed and rest your eyes. This is not a negotiation it is a dictation. So, I say bedtime, you say good night."

Aaron didn't dare question her. He followed her up those stairs and into his room. He lay there silently as she tucked him in and he gently fell asleep. She was not sure whether he was light sleeper or a heavy one, so, when the front door slammed she was there in a flash to reprimand the man who slammed it. It was a man, in fact, it was the man of the house. He was drunk as always and for the first time in well over two months, he had some 'nameless, faceless whore' on his arm who was equally as hammered.

"Charles, your son is sleeping, shut up," whispered Blair angrily

"Why don't you shut your face up?" Chuck asked loudly getting a start from his giggling companion

"Look, _Chuck_, I'm giving you one rule right now. Simple, even you can follow. When I say bedtime, you say good night," Blair put emphasis on the good night and Chuck nodded fervently

"Now, that is one rule I can comply to," Chuck said wrapping an arm around his 'date's' waist and squeezing her bottom in the process, "Good night, Blair,"

He walked up the stairs giggling the entire way as his partner proceeded to boost his ego and apparently, lower his pants. Blair wasn't quite sure why but the idea of being there any longer was almost as sickening as the thought of Roman and Jenny Humphrey reproducing. She called up her car and was speeding down the road in seconds off to some bar where she'd probably get just a tad bit wasted and in her drunken state, she might just allow herself to be angry, jealous, and confused. Or maybe, she'd just calmly go see her mother after a drink or two. Nate could only hope.

* * *

_Same Day- The New York Tipton Hotel. New York, duh!_

The pounding of fists against a hard surface was disturbing countless people's slumber on the twenty-third floor of the hotel everyone seemed to love (especially twins in Paris, New York, or Bombay). Nathaniel Archibald was among the people annoyed. Upon going to check out the noise, he found his wife pounding on the wall next to the elevator. She was drunk as he could tell but she also looked angry. He walked over to her and turned her around glad to see her face again even after all the shit she had said to him.

"Hey, Blair, it's so good to-"

"Save it, Archie Bold. I hate your guts. I hate your fucking shit. And most importantly, I hate being your wife,"

"Well, why are you married to me then?" Nate asked

"Because I have nowhere else to turn. You used to be the first choice but now, you're a last resort. Chuck is up higher than you and Chuck is smarter than you, and funnier, and wittier, and hotter, and a better-"

"Can we not talk about Chuck?" Nate asked

"Okay, how about we talk about you, Nate. You have been lying to me," Blair said

"I have not!"

"Really, you told me that you'd never been to that club Chuck owns. But you have, you were there when I was there and you were in a chair with a slut who's fingers were in your hair,"

"Blair-"

"I hate you! You told Dan not to take Serena. I know, I talked to Dan. Years ago, you intruded into the personal life of my best friend and you were the cause of their end. And on top of that, you positively ruined my life. I wish I had never met you Nathaniel Archibald. I'd have never ever gone through all this _shit_ I go through now,"

"You'd have never known what love felt like,"

"I don't know what love feels like, I've been with you. I don't love you, Nate. I haven't loved you for months. I'd sooner find Gossip Girl's true identity before I ever loved you again,"

"If you don't love me, how come you are always all over me?"

"I'm not. You're all over me. You like me, and you want to be with me. But I don't wanna be with you!"

"Blair, I-"

"_Don't touch me!_" she shrieked, Nate jumped back as if electrocuted. He'd only tried to calm her down but it didn't seem to work. She seemed generally upset with him. He knew from previous experience that when she was drunk, she sang like a canary and pretty much lost her mind. But she'd never been so frightened, or annoyed, of his touch before.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as if that was enough

"Sorry? You're sorry," she chuckled and he was sure it was in spite of him, "Are you sorry that you ruined practically my entire life? Are you sorry that you drove me into the hospital for multiple things, one of which was your goddamn child? Are you sorry you killed my only chance at happiness? Are you sorry you slept with my best friend? Are you sorry that your dad-"

"Now, that was not my fault! And if your mother hadn't been telling my dad lies, my dad would never have gotten drunk," Nate said

"But he still ended up backing that car into our living room," Blair said

"Will you let it go? It was just a cat," Nate said

"Just a cat? That cat was everything to me," Blair said

"The same way your fur coat was, or the limo, or maybe even the briefcase your dad bought you. You are unbelievable,"

"Your family is unbelievable! Your mother is a psychopath and your father is a semi-reformed drug addict who always seems to find his way back to the pretty little prescription meds,"

"That was low, B,"

"B, there it is again. Do I look like the same seventeen year old who was gossiped about day after day? I am not the same person who can be mocked and taunted and ridiculed and unwanted and… and…"

And there it happened. The official break down of everything that was Blair Archibald. Who knew all it took was a few dozen shots of assorted liquors and her husband to make her crack? Of course there was always the problem of haunting memories, but nobody can take those into account for what happened that night.

Blair lay on the ground crying lightly with Nate standing above her, doing nothing. He wasn't stupid enough to touch her but he knew he had to get her out of the hallway. His only choice was already asleep leaving him with but one option. Face her wrath. He scooped her up, lightly, into his arms. She started thrashing about instantly but he refused to let her go. She could kick him, scratch him, punch him (and indeed she did) but he would continue carrying her into the room. Once the door was closed, he dropped her down onto the bed and went into the bathroom to clean his face. Salty tears and light blood didn't exactly do wonders for the complexion.

* * *

_The Next Morning- Gossip Girl_

R-e-s-p-e-c-t. Find out what it means to B. After a long and hard twenty-four hours in the Bass household, B was seen knocking back a few… heads. One of them being her very own King N's. Watch out, boys, looks like that kitty's claws aren't retracting anytime soon.

You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl.

* * *

1- for those who do not know, a masochist is basically a person who has the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation.

2- this one was a quote from Gossip Girl, episode 1x10 "Hi, Society". It just came to my head while writing and I just had to put it in! And since, I'm already sort of leaving an author's note down here, why don't you all review and I'll try to put on this next chapter before we pass the month mark this time? Also, the thing at the beginning was a reference to the fact that one of my fics has been on the site for a year now and I put on the epilogue today too so I'm spreading the love.

* * *

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters (minus Aaron) and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl, The Upper East Side, Aladdin, or anything else.


	6. Six

**Ass Junior**

**Summary:** If you looked up ass in the dictionary, you would without a doubt see my picture. If you looked up jerk in the phone book, you'd find my number. If you put in worst father in history on Google, I'm sure you'll have a million links to videos, pictures, and everything else. What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, not Bill Cosby.

**Author's Starting Notes:** Guess what, it's finally here! Chapter Six of this story which took so fricken long. I'd like to apologize in advance for this chapter. One reason I took so long to post it was because I didn't like the way the emotions were portrayed. I don't think I really sent out the message I wanted to here, but it's something and hopefully you guys don't resent me for taking so long.

I would also like to dedicate this chapter to Blood Red Kiss of Death because I said I would forever ago and I stick with my promises. Dedicated reader and reviewer, Blood Red Kiss of Death deserves it. Hey, maybe you should review, you might get the next one dedicated to you.

**Time Stamp:** July 17th, 2008.

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

_The Next Morning- Gossip Girl_

R-e-s-p-e-c-t. Find out what it means to B. After a long and hard twenty-four hours in the Bass household, B was seen knocking back a few… heads. One of them being her very own King N's. Watch out, boys, looks like that kitty's claws aren't retracting anytime soon.

You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl.

* * *

_April 23rd, 2017- Bass Residence_

Charles Bass had officially resigned himself to never being able to sleep in again. For all of the week thus far, he had been awoken at an ungodly hour for some idiotic reason that didn't truly have anything do with him. His problems, in his eyes, went all the way back to Nathaniel Archibald ever being born. If he hadn't been born, he wouldn't have met Blair, which would mean Chuck would have been the first boy Blair could fall for, meaning all the shit that was his fucked up life would never have happened. But there were no time for what ifs, there wasn't even enough time for him to make his miraculous hangover cure as the pounding of his skull (and the front door) grew louder and louder.

He tried to roll from the bed and found a set of arms wrapped around his waist. His patience was already gone, so, he just threw them off and stormed down the stairs. He went down the stairs to find that Serena was starting to tend to the issue. She was arguing with Nate quietly while Blair - who was obviously hung over - lay at their feet.

"Look, having her here right now is a bad idea. I know I took her in before but she can stay with you today," Serena said

"She doesn't want to. She doesn't want to stay with me at all. She doesn't love me," Nate said with pain evident in his face

"Nate," Serena stroked his face softly

"Forget it, Serena. It doesn't matter. I don't care… much. Obviously, what she wants she can't find with me. So, you just take her in and I'll file for the divorce she's probably been craving for since the moment she said 'I do'."

Nate made it painfully obvious that the two had fallen out, and the grave tone he took assured Serena that it was really over that time. Serena seemed to feel sorry for him. Sorry or not, she knew still where good friend and good sister met. She couldn't afford to piss off Chuck anymore than she already had. She lived with him for Pete's sake.

"Nate, I really can't help you here. As much as I'd love to do so, I can't," insisted Serena

"Serena," Nate looked up into her eyes, "All these years, I've thought… I never knew…. One week, Serena, just one week and I'll have everything ready. She'll be wherever and I'll be out of your hair. No more calls, no more emails, and no more text messages,"

"Whoa, you two have been chatting?" Chuck asked stepping forward

"Not like that, Chuck. About Blair, the two have been having issues for the past year. I can't tell you the amount of damage control I've done. I thought it was just Blair being Blair but…. Chuck, we have to let her stay another day, or four," Serena said

"No, I refuse to put up with her any longer. Get her out of here!" Chuck roared, Serena looked at Nate and Blair cautiously before dragging Chuck closer to the stairs

"Your only problem is that she's still with Nate," Serena hissed lightly

"Not for long by the looks of it," Chuck said with a hint of smugness

"Chuck, just let her stay and I will find someway to make it up to you," Serena said

"The only way you could do that would be to ensure that you'll move out by the end of the year," Chuck said

"But… for Blair, for Blair, fine! I will move out by December 31st," Serena said

"Alright, then, she can stay," Chuck said, Serena quickly went to get Blair from the couch, "But keep her the hell away from me and my stuff,"

"Done. Nate, mind giving me a hand?" Serena asked, Nate shook his head and the two went off to bring Blair upstairs. Chuck went into the kitchen to prepare yet another miraculous hangover cure. He was midway through a second batch of the disgusting green goo when Serena came into the kitchen with her 'forgive me' face on.

"Chuck, can I just say how great of a person you are?" Serena began

"You can but it will make me significantly suspicious as to why the heck you are doing so," Chuck said

"It's just, I was a horrible person to you earlier. I brought up old memories of heartache and pain yet you still agreed to help me by taking in Blair for the week," Serena

"Wait, week?"

"Time is irrelevant. I really want to thank you for all you have done and maybe you can forgive me for what I've done,"

"Consider it done," Chuck said knowing he'd have no peace without agreeing

"Great because, well, I need one last favor," Chuck groaned, she continued on, "To make sure Blair doesn't do something else she'll regret, I need to keep my eye on her, meaning I need to shirk my babysitting duties for the day. So, can you watch Aaron?"

The temptation to yell no and kick the blonde out of his house was very high. Chuck wanted nothing more than to do so. He knew he couldn't though. Aaron truly was _his_ responsibility. He was his son after all. Reluctantly, Chuck agreed to yet another request of Serena van der Woodsen.

It took at least two hours for Chuck to feel well enough to brave the mentally traumatizing experience that was a seven-year-old boy. He prepped himself in all aspects of his persona ranging from the 'don't-mess-with-me' to the 'Charlie-the-unicorn' faces. No amount of prep could have prepared him for what it was he found though.

* * *

_April 23rd, 2017- Somewhere that I won't tell you_

"There you are, where on Earth have you been?"

"Out,"

"Where? Were you at that orphanage again?"

"Yes, Mother,"

"What were you doing?"

"What do you think I was doing? I was seeing him,"

"If I would have known you'd still spend so much time stalking the boy, I would have just let you keep him,"

"No, you wouldn't have. You would have just put him further away where I couldn't find him as easily,"

"True…. So, how does he look?"

"Like his father,"

"And who pray tell is that?"

"No one you need to know, Mother,"

"I still feel it would be important to know who the father of my grandson is,"

"And I still feel that it's not something you need to know. Just know he's someone… different,"

"As in good different or bad different?"

"As in between the two of us, I'm surprised Aaron isn't more fucked up than he already is,"

"What color is his hair?"

"Dark. Why even ask? It obviously wouldn't be blonde. Just because I dyed my hair doesn't mean his would be that way,"

"You never know, he may have gotten my genes and had lighter hair,"

"Yeah, and his dad is probably throwing a party now,"

"Why wouldn't he? It's not like you… oh, God, tell me you didn't! Gosh, Nicky!"

"It's not as bad as you make it out to be, Mom,"

"How did this even happen?"

"Well, I could take it back to when he first noticed I was there two years ago,"

* * *

_March 2015 - The Orphanage_

There was a rule at the Orphanage down on Silcox Boulevard. It was a law that all the kids knew forwards and backwards. The big kids were in charge. You could be the cutest baby at the center but you couldn't go down to the adoption meetings without getting approval first. Approval wasn't something that easily came by. Most kids spent years where they had to purposely screw up just because the big kids wanted a chance at getting out. Aaron was not most kids. He usually screwed up his own damn self, so, he was always at the interviews. There was something different about that specific free day. The little five-year-old could feel it in his bones, like something special was about to happen. He could feel eyes on him and turned around to find the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in his life.

She had soft golden curls and an even fainter smile. She seemed to be studying him from beneath the rim of her expensive Coach sunglasses. As if pulled by an invisible force, Aaron Jacob Bass found himself before her within moments of recognizing her presence.

"Hi, Lady," he said waving his hand energetically at her

"Hello," she said almost apprehensively

"I'm Aaron, who are you?" he asked

"I'm… Nunya, Nunya Business," she said

"Otay… why you here?"

"Just came to see you actually,"

"Why?"

"Because it's kind of a habit now,"

"Why?"

"Because I always come to see you,"

"Why?"

"Because then I can make sure you're still alive,"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're at an orphanage,"

"Why?"

"Because your mother couldn't keep you,"

"Why?"

"Because her mother is a bitch,"

"Why?"

"I don't know! Gosh, stop asking questions,"

Aaron looked downcast and the blonde immediately cursed her short temper. She survived a PMSing Blair Waldorf; she could certainly handle a five-year-old boy.

"Aaron, do you ever wish to meet your mommy?" she asked

"Yes," he said lightly

"What if I told you, you already have?" she asked

"I'd say you're a liar," he said

"Well… I'm your mommy," she said

"Nu-uh!"

"Yuh-huh! I've been your mother for five years now, little boy,"

"If so, what's my birthday?"

"Today,"

"Lucky guess,"

"Look, Aaron, I just came to see you and say happy birthday. I'll be going now,"

"Wait! Where you going? Aren't I coming too?"

The blonde looked at her son, self-loathing and pure regret coursing through.

"No. No, you aren't," she said

"But why not?" he asked as tears welled in his eyes

"I'm not ready. I can't take you back, I'm sorry. But I can give you something,"

She reached into her bag - it was a duffle bag - and pulled out a small backpack. She handed it to him and lowered herself to his eye level.

"This is a magic backpack. It lets you hold more stuff than any other, and, it has a picture holder," she said

"I don't see it," he said, she turned it over revealing a small section where she had a picture taped. It was pretty hard to find unless you knew it was there. He looked at the picture with wide eyes. It was her, but she looked all sweaty and she was holding a baby in her arms.

"That's you," she pointed at the baby, "It was taken the day you were born,"

Seeing that his eyes wouldn't leave the picture, she decided it was okay for her to start walking away. It wasn't.

"Mommy," her breath caught in her throat as he called her that. She didn't think she'd ever hear anyone refer to her as mommy, "Why don't you love me anymore?"

"What do you mean, Aaron?" she asked, her back still to him

"You leaveded me here and now, you're doing it again,"

"That doesn't mean I don't love you. I do. I really do. I'm not supposed to, I was supposed to give you up, I mean, after all, how many Upper East Side teenagers do good raising children, right? I was so messed up. I wasn't on a good path and…. I'm sorry you think that, Aaron."

"So, you do love me?"

"With all my heart,"

"What about my daddy? Do you love him?"

"…. Good-bye, Aaron,"

She turned away from him and started walking. He called after her screaming mommy left and right. He even chased after her and tried to grab hold of her arm, her leg, anything. It didn't work. She wouldn't stop. In fact, she went faster. She started sprinting out of the small home and towards a waiting cab. She slipped inside and looked at her young son with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to be anyone but herself.

* * *

_Present Day - Bass Residence_

Chuck stared on silently listening as Aaron went on speaking. It seemed the little boy knew more than he let on.

"Mommy said she loved me, Teddy. She just couldn't take me with her," Aaron said, "I don't think she loved Chuck though. …No, teddy, he told me to call him that. He said until a D-M-K test was done, he wouldn't say I'm his son,"

Chuck looked down shamefully.

"No, it's okay. I just hoped the D-M-K test will come soon. I want a daddy who'll love me like mommy does. You'd really like her. She's pretty. Her hair like Auntie Serena's but more brownish. She's not as small as Blair, but not as tall as Serena either. She not happy though. Her eyes are always sad and gray…. I don't like gray that much,"

Chuck felt kind of like he was intruding on the time, but he couldn't move. He was lost in thoughts. Who did he know with gray eyes? Most of the time the gray was some kind of light blue, pale green, something of the sort. He couldn't think of any girls with eyes like that. He needed to know more.

"Aaron," he said pushing open the closet door - yes, the boy was inside a closet.

"Yes?" Aaron said looking up from his teddy bear

"I was wondering if we could talk about your mom," Chuck said

"I was just telling Teddy about her!" Aaron exclaimed happily, "Sit down,"

Chuck obliged looking with interest, as Aaron seemed to be communicating with the stuffed animal telepathically. Interest dwindled away with time and impatience came in its place.

"Aaron, hello," Chuck said

"Oh, hi! Teddy says you make him nervous. So, you have to be quiet, or Teddy won't talk," Aaron said

"But the teddy doesn't-never mind, I'll be quiet," Chuck said, Aaron smiled

"Well, Mommy is really nice. She took me from the orphanage and brought me here. First we got in a taxi, but then she saw she only had gold and silver rectangles and no money. So, she got out and gaved him the little green monies. Then we was walking. She was holding my hand the entire time to make sure nothing happened. We stopped to eat food and she was wearing big sunglasses. We talked when there about lots of stuff. Then her phone rang. She gots really mad," Aaron said

"Phone? She had a phone? What kind?" Chuck asked, Aaron gave him a look and Chuck remembered the bear.

"She started like yelling into the blue phone, but quietly so no one could hear. She called the lady she was talking to Mother, but, one time, she called her Tina just to piss her off," Aaron said

"Where did you hear that language?" Chuck asked

"Her. Mommy says after that she only calls her mommy Tina to piss her off. Now, shush, you're scaring Teddy. … What now, Teddy? Oh, yeah. Mommy and Tina kept arguing until Mommy just hung up on her! Then Mommy paid for our foods and dragged me out of there. We went to a hotel after that 'cause it was nighttime. She tucked me in and I asked her to tell me a bedtime story. She told me a story about a ducky and a wolf. The ducky had a messed up wing from a life of guava-"

"I think you mean trauma," Chuck corrected

"Yeah, trauma. The ducky was coming from a far away kingdom to the one here, the Palace. It was going by when it seent the wolf, all sad and lonely. The ducky went over to talk it. And do you know what the wolf did?" Aaron asked looking at his bear and Chuck

"Let me guess, it offered the duck some magic juice," Chuck proposed

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Aaron asked, Chuck smirked slightly

"Lucky guess," Chuck said.

* * *

_June 2008 - Palace Bar_

"Blair this, Blair that, I am so fricken' _sick_ of that stupid, little _bitch_!" Chuck snarled to no one in particular as he sat on his usual stool at his dad's bar. That day, they weren't really expecting a Chuck Bass breakdown. It was graduation day after all. Yet, there he was ranting and raving to his imaginary bar buddy while he downed his weight in liquor. They'd card him if they didn't think they'd lose their jobs for doing so. It was nights like those that the Palace staff really missed Blair Waldorf. She had the ability to keep him away from the bar for months at a time, but also the ability to keep him there.

Chuck ordered another scotch moodily complaining about how slow the service was that night. In reality, they had drinks right opposite where he sat in preparation. He didn't catch that though. The only he caught was the looks of the passing females as they saw how handsome he was. He wouldn't do anything with any of them. He already knew that. He'd tried a little while after his dad's wedding to sleep with their new interior designer, but he'd ended up actually to the chick about interior designs. How fucked up is that, America?

The sound of female body on stool brought Chuck away from his thoughts. He could always tell when someone joined his company. He turned his head to the left spotting a teen, who looked no older than himself, watching him closely.

"Can I help you?" Chuck asked

"Not really, but I can help you," she said

"Look, I'm not in the mood for any whack sex you can offer, alright. You can hit the streets if that's what you're after," he said

"Whoa, slow down, tiger. I'm not after some one night stand. I just saw you looking pretty down and felt like I should talk to you. It's the least a girl could do," she said. Chuck looked her over judging every aspect of the girl. Her make-up was pretty bare, obviously the slut look was to be saved for another night. Her hair, while beautiful in blonde, looked a bit off to him. He figured she'd look better with dark brown hair. But maybe that was just the part of him that wanted Blair talking. Her eyes were brown, however, they were vacant of any expression. Almost as if she was missing her soul. He wasn't quite sure what possessed him to do so, but he soon found himself ordering her a drink.

"Oh, I-I don't drink," she said quickly once he proposed it

"Then why the hell are you in a bar?" he asked

"Just passing through. I'm just in town for today, then it's back to Michigan," she said

"Why'd you choose to honor our little isle?" he asked as the bartender dropped off her drink

"Felt like home to me, haven't been here in ages though. I actually used to know you," she said

"Why'd you say used to? Don't you still know me?" he asked

"Buddy boy, I haven't known you since like before senior year even began, and even then it was a fleeting relationship. Didn't really care to know much more about you, moved on to other things, other people. And eventually, other places," she said

"Interesting," he said, "Here, drink up,"

He pushed the drink towards her and she just looked at it with abnormally pale features. He found her behavior peculiar and instantly downed a shot as if to show her how. She looked even more hesitant as she saw him much he was drinking himself. After a bit more persuasion, she took the drink and threw her head back to make it go down smooth. It burned her throat in a way nothing had in quite some time. She felt it hit her gut almost as if it soared right through the digestive track. She knew it was probably a bad idea, but she ordered another one. After only one more, she was fumbling around on her chair talking about dancing on tables and running away from all bonds. Chuck, who wasn't nearly as hammered but still a bit tipsy himself, mentioned how little he knew about her. To which she replied,

"Baby, you know a lot about me. The thing is I don't know much about you," she said quite drunkenly slurring her words as she placed a hand on his lower knee

"I'm a Bass, that's all there is to know," he said

"Well, I'm smokin' hot and that's all there is to know about me," she said grabbing one of his shots of scotch and knocking it back

"Hey, that was mine," he declared, she shrugged

"It was good. You should try one," she said

"I know what I want to try," he said

"What?" she asked leaning closer already having a pretty good idea what he wanted. He smirked and grabbed the other shot in front of him draining it in seconds. Then he rushed forward attacking her lips brutally. She didn't pull back, or freeze up, like most. She embraced it kissing him back hard. He wasn't sure why but something about her seemed a bit too familiar. Probably some ancient fling of his. Yet something in the back of his head told him she might have been more than that.

* * *

_Present Day - Same unmentionable place as before_

"Look, Mom, if you don't want to put up with my tortured soul. Why not just let me do what I want and stop keeping tabs on me?" she asked angrily

"Because I'm not going to lose my daughter!"

"You already lost her! I'm not your daughter. I'm just some replacement you and a few hundred other people created when your daughter bored you,"

"Trust me, darling, you never _bored_ me. You were about as boring as a tornado ripping through Broadway,"

"How lovely, New York is mentioned!"

"Honey, I'm not trying to pick a fight,"

"Well, too late!"

The blonde rose from her seat storming to the door.

"Where are you going?" her mother roared

"New York!"

* * *

_Gossip Girl_

Uh-Oh, Upper East Siders. Looks like what I said before was more than right. I managed to catch sight of a pretty lonely looking Archibald man today. Something tells me we might be having a repeat of the C/B fiasco from junior year. A nosy gossip could only hope.

XOXO, GossipGirl

* * *

**Author's Ending Notes:** Well, guys, I said a name for MysteryChick this chapter, not like it helps much. And, I even brought her inside the chapter this time. If you think you know who she is, make a guess. From here on out, guesses for who the mom is will be accepted. All those who get it right will get honorable mention awards at the end of this fic. Which I must say is a ways from now with how long I took to right this. I promise that will not happen again guys. I was just so out of it and distracted by other stuff. So, review if you're still reading.

--

© Dezi. While everything above was written by myself, the characters, and the world they live in was not. I don't own Gossip Girl, The Upper East Side, or anything else. I only own dear Aaron. Sorry for any confusion.


End file.
